What exactly you are looking for?

Have you ever sat down and thought what do you want? Asked yourself what exactly do you want? What are you looking for in life, friendship, and relationship? For the past years, I have been wandering on the path of life just like we all do. Relationship wise, it was a mess for me. I used to be confused and wallowed myself in the mistakes that I made, but what has been done is done. I thought I always knew what I was looking for by then, but it never happened to be exactly the way I expected. However, this is life, I made mistakes, I met wrong people, I did stupid things, I looked in all the wrong places, but I learned from them.

One of my friends used to say to me “You can do better than that.” Nowadays, this statement is stuck in my mind. It runs parallel with the question that I ask myself “Is this what I want?” to help me with decision making. Life is supposed to be fun, but the fun also has to be worth your time and what you want. It’s like an angel and a devil on my each shoulder whenever I am debating “To do or not to do.” The past scenes played every time during my dilemma, and if I want a change moving forward, I have to learn from the past, and I am not going to repeat the pattern. After all, I really can do much better than that. Whatever “that” is, I know better than anyone else if it is what I am looking for or not.

I repeat this, life is supposed to be fun, but the fun also has to be worth your time and what you want. When we go against our heart and follow the mind, we can lose the pieces of ourselves, and years after years, we still wonder, what exactly I am looking for?