I find it hard sometime to say NO to a request or an invitation. Part of the reasons is that I don’t want to disappoint other people. But being a nice guy always is not a good solution in a long run. There are times that I just don’t want to do things that friends or coworkers ask me to do. As a matter of fact, I really don’t like being told what to do.
The person who cannot say no refers to nice person, but it also indicates that we love to help other people out. However, each individual’s time and ability is limited. Priorities, goals, plans vary from one person to another person. Some know how to say “when” when they think it’s enough, but some just don’t. Remember though saying no is not a bad thing. Some people prefer to hear no as an answer so that they can deal with it and move on. By just dragging things around and not dare to give a NO answer, it doesn’t do any favors to both parties.
I have a hard time saying no all the time. Instead of saying no, I explain instead. For example, “Do you want to go shopping with us?” asked by a friend. I responded “I want to stay in and relax at home.” Explanation is nice by saving another question from my friend “why.” Although my explanation already makes it clear that I don’t want to, still it’s not how an answer goes. The question is “do you?” so the answer is supposed to be either yes or no. “NO” is just one short word, but some people having a difficult time saying it out loud. We tend to be afraid of hurting other people’s feeling, but what about our own feeling. Do we want to do it? Do I want to do it?
Remember, whatever you do make sure you are happy first. Saying no just means no, and if your friends, family, coworkers, or whoever are mature enough, they will understand. But some people are really hard to take a “no” for an answer. They get offended by thinking about some other things that for instance, he doesn’t want to help me, he doesn’t want to hang out with me, he doesn’t like me, he thinks I am boring, etc. But those are false statements and whoever thinks like that, apparently he/she suffers from low self-esteem issue, and it completely has nothing to do with you.
You don’t want to sound like a push over person and allow others to take you for granted. Personally, I think NO is a healthy word. It is better than excuses and lies. We say we don’t like liars, but why cannot we take a “no” as an answer? The person is just trying to be honest. I sometimes have a hard time getting a “no” response too, but I have to remind myself about the golden rule each time, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” What goes around comes around. It’s unavoidable about life. So, dare to say firmly “no” but in the meantime dare to hear “no” too.
Also, I sometime have a very hard time to decide. When I am totally in doubt, I don’t know what to do. My answer becomes a lengthy explanation and avoids responding to the question. I asked for time, but hoping the other person will figure it out and leave me alone. Making up my mind is not an easy task for me. I find dilemma in my life all the time because I am a thinker, but it’s advised that when in doubt, it’s good to say no now than change your mind to yes later. Our instinct doesn’t work all the time, but the time that it does work is sure more than the time that it doesn’t. You know this better than I do.
So, it’s time to speak up for yourself, let’s start with a simply two alphabets N-O
The person who cannot say no refers to nice person, but it also indicates that we love to help other people out. However, each individual’s time and ability is limited. Priorities, goals, plans vary from one person to another person. Some know how to say “when” when they think it’s enough, but some just don’t. Remember though saying no is not a bad thing. Some people prefer to hear no as an answer so that they can deal with it and move on. By just dragging things around and not dare to give a NO answer, it doesn’t do any favors to both parties.
I have a hard time saying no all the time. Instead of saying no, I explain instead. For example, “Do you want to go shopping with us?” asked by a friend. I responded “I want to stay in and relax at home.” Explanation is nice by saving another question from my friend “why.” Although my explanation already makes it clear that I don’t want to, still it’s not how an answer goes. The question is “do you?” so the answer is supposed to be either yes or no. “NO” is just one short word, but some people having a difficult time saying it out loud. We tend to be afraid of hurting other people’s feeling, but what about our own feeling. Do we want to do it? Do I want to do it?
Remember, whatever you do make sure you are happy first. Saying no just means no, and if your friends, family, coworkers, or whoever are mature enough, they will understand. But some people are really hard to take a “no” for an answer. They get offended by thinking about some other things that for instance, he doesn’t want to help me, he doesn’t want to hang out with me, he doesn’t like me, he thinks I am boring, etc. But those are false statements and whoever thinks like that, apparently he/she suffers from low self-esteem issue, and it completely has nothing to do with you.
You don’t want to sound like a push over person and allow others to take you for granted. Personally, I think NO is a healthy word. It is better than excuses and lies. We say we don’t like liars, but why cannot we take a “no” as an answer? The person is just trying to be honest. I sometimes have a hard time getting a “no” response too, but I have to remind myself about the golden rule each time, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” What goes around comes around. It’s unavoidable about life. So, dare to say firmly “no” but in the meantime dare to hear “no” too.
Also, I sometime have a very hard time to decide. When I am totally in doubt, I don’t know what to do. My answer becomes a lengthy explanation and avoids responding to the question. I asked for time, but hoping the other person will figure it out and leave me alone. Making up my mind is not an easy task for me. I find dilemma in my life all the time because I am a thinker, but it’s advised that when in doubt, it’s good to say no now than change your mind to yes later. Our instinct doesn’t work all the time, but the time that it does work is sure more than the time that it doesn’t. You know this better than I do.
So, it’s time to speak up for yourself, let’s start with a simply two alphabets N-O
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