Are you a worrier? Sometimes, when we want or need something that we think it’s hard to get, we become worried. We tell ourselves to go step by step; however, when the first step is done, we start to worry about the second step. This actually is acceptable according to the definition of “step by step.” By not thinking over our head, we learn how to go through life one step at a time. The bad thing about doing this is that, we tend to worry in each step that we take.

Sometimes, things can get out of our controls. We might think that the first step is not even that reachable, but once we reach it, we start to think about the second step and apply the same unreachable fear’s concept to it. But no body is going to be able to tell what the future or the next step is going to be like. Simply “iffing” about what’s next goes against the idea of living life to the fullest that we should enjoy the moment that we are in, and leave the worries aside.

Time is money. I encourage you to adjust your mood and take some time to think about what bothers your mind, your priorities in life, what worries you the most, your life goals, etc. Jot them down and take another time to think about what you can do about them. Sometimes, it helps to clear our mind when we focus on realistic things in our life verses illusional ones. It also helps to lessen our worries. And by putting those into actions, we definitely are making progress here. So, lessen worries and more actions! They can do it, so can you. Good luck!

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11:24 AM | Posted by Pheng | , , with 1 comments »
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2008-07-26

Chasing Butterflies



There’s one thing in life called love. A Chinese author used to say that “Without dreams, life is hopeless. Without love, life is meaningless.” It is all those lonely times that remind us of having someone to be with, to love and to be loved, to care for and to be cared for.

The concept of meeting someone special is that love happens when we least expect it. I used to hear people say that if you chase after love, it’s like you are chasing butterflies. The more you chase them, the farther they fly away. Many relationship professionals believe that, when we create our life that is full of energy and fun, we will attract that special one.

I am speaking from my past experience here. When we are desperately looking for love or relationship, we are making ourselves look …. well desperate! And when we are desperate, we start to look for love in all the wrong places and time. As the result, we end up with people that are not really our types. Because we look so hard and we want a partner to love and be loved so badly that we forget our standards, we forgo ourselves, and simply want to be with someone that we know the relationship is not going to last long. We may convince ourselves that love is blind, but in fact, it is the desperateness that blinds us.

Having someone to be with romantically is a great feeling, but this only happens when we are ready to be with that someone. If we think that we are unhappy and expect that someone to fill in the happiness gap in our life, then we become needy. And being needy is no different than desperateness. One of my favorite quotes from Oscar Wilde is “To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.” Happiness is within the self, and by loving ourselves, we create the life that is full of energy and fun. It is that time that we send out the signal to the special one that we are ready.

Continue live on your life and make the best out of it. The butterflies one day will fly back to you when you live in a colorful life. That way, you don’t have to chase them and scare them away.

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11:39 PM | Posted by Pheng | , , with 3 comments »
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Do you have problems with patience? I usually have. I am a type of guy that likes to get things done as quickly as possible by not leaving things to be done later. Today, I was packing my stuff and I was a little bit tired. I realized that sometimes if things can be done later, then I should continue later on if time permits, and finish as much as I can. In other words, work until I get tired and leave the rest to be worked on later.

You see, life is not about taking things too serious. We have to be realistic about our time and physical needs. There’s time that we feel rushed working on things, but if we can start working on those things as soon as possible, maybe we won’t feel rushed like that. We might even have plenty of time in our hands to try to finish the task as much as we can. It’s all about time management and how proactive we are.

Therefore, put yourself to work on something that needs to be done a week from now. Don’t procrastinate or convince yourself to wait until things really get out of control. Do as much as you can. Instead of laying on the couch watching TV, be active working around home, packing for a vacation, working on your body, whatever.

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4:03 PM | Posted by Pheng | , with 0 comments »
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In United States, it is not okay to ask how much a person earns. It is considered inappropriate to discuss about someone’s income. I personally don’t care much about telling other people how much I make, but sometimes I do feel a little bit uncomfortable sharing it. The more I become self-conscious, the more I don’t feel comfortable.

NOYB stands for None Of Your Business. It is hard for nosy people to understand NOYB. Does it really matter to know how much your friend or your family member makes a year? If you say yes, then keep reading on the questions. What is the ultimate goal that you want out of knowing that? Are you a comparing type of person? It makes you happy when you know that you make more than they do? What is it there that you are trying to get out of it?

Some people even get envious after knowing that they make less money than others. What good is that that does to you? Envy is not a healthy place to put yourself in. Be realistic to yourself, and try to avoid the sensitive questions that you ask others, especially when it really doesn’t do any good to you. To be blunt, mind your own business and do the best you can for yourself. Comparing yourself with others simply is just a waste of time. It is the difference that makes up this whole world. Everyone has his/her own story behind his/her own successes and even failures. I encourage you to be just happy the way you are. It is the gratitude that makes us feel good about ourselves and satisfied with what we are possessing.

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1:00 AM | Posted by Pheng | , , with 0 comments »
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2008-07-25

Good & Bad Habits



I was driving to work this morning, and while I stopped at the stop light, I thought about breaking and keeping habits. It is not an easy task to keep our habit compared to breaking one. There’s a saying that learning good is hard but learning bad is easy. It applies the same to our habits. In order to keep a good habit, we have to push ourselves every time and it requires a lot of motivations. On the other hand, keeping a bad habit is as easy as 123.

For the past month, I tried to do sit ups every morning after I get up and every night before I go to bed. Lately, I have been skipping this activity. This has started since Monday this week. I remember that night, I told myself that it’s okay to skip just for the night, and in the morning I can do it instead. I did on Tuesday morning. Then there came the Tuesday night, and again I told myself the same thing, but I have never done the sit up since that Tuesday night.

Keeping a good habit is very hard. We have to put a lot of time and effort into it. It’s okay to be lazy sometime, but it is that “OK” laziness that possibly kills all the motivations moving on. It took only one night to lessen my self-motivated activity. It takes only one excuse that we make for ourselves to break a good habit. While it isn’t too late, I am going back to the routine and hoping to find the motivation that I had in the first place. Break your approach of “It’s okay to be this and that today,” for once you do that, there will be more coming.

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9:23 AM | Posted by Pheng | , with 0 comments »
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Who are you going to vote for this year? Obama or McCain? I personally want to see the Democrat wins this time and see the difference, for I realize that if McCain is going to win, his way is going to be the same as Bush’s. Some part of the country wants McCain, and some wants Obama. Everyone does have their own belief system, but for the most part they want something that is best for them. To call them selfish, I am afraid it is a little bit harsh. But how many people really think about choosing a president is more like for the “community” than just for “individualism” compared to other choices in life, or compared to an egoistical character? Taxes verses wars, which one would you prefer? Equality of human rights regarding marriage whether you are gay or straight? So on and so forth. These may not be important to you, but are these important to the majority of the people in the United States?

I usually don’t like politics and I don’t want to involve any discussions about it. We all try the best we can to have something that is best for us. When we walk in our enemies’ shoes, we probably see that we are just as stubborn as them, and want the same thing that they want. I would like to ask you to step back and think about this issue. Consider it for the whole US rather than just for yourself. Look around at your friends, family, and even the world that are in need more than you do. What matters to you maybe just a piece of thing, but to them something else can mean the whole world and even a change in their lives. Money is just money, but peace and equality is the true happiness in life that money cannot buy. After this, if you think that you are making a good choice for yourself, I still respect your choice because it makes you feel good and pleased with your decision making that is best for you and maybe some other people. If things are meant to happen, they will happen. But I personally believe in making a difference. No matter who will win, I still strive to achieve that. One of my favorite quotes by Tom Brokaw is “It's easy to make a buck. It's a lot tougher to make a difference.”

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10:12 PM | Posted by Pheng | , with 1 comments »
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In this month July, I have been asked three times about whether or not I get lonely sometime. Loneliness to me is nothing but an emotional state that is like other emotional feeling that lasts temporary, come and go. It is unavoidable for any living things. Some people might have more lonesome moments than others. However, no matter you are single or married, living alone or with roommates, king or slave, whatever, loneliness is part of our lives.

So the question was “Do you get lonely sometime?” The answer is yes, I do. Loneliness happens to each of us, but it’s all about how we look at it and how we handle it. I sure get lonely sometime, for the most part is because I am away from my family in Cambodia, I don’t have many friends or I usually prefer to spend time alone enjoying the serenity moments, I am single and live alone. But I do something about my lonely moments. I can just go cruising around town, go to Starbucks and order my favorite Italian Soda, go shopping, read a book, watch a movie, write something for my blog, do house chores, etc. to get rid of the loneliness quicker.

The point is don’t feel bad if you are lonely, or blame on life that you are more lonely than others, or call yourself a loser because you don’t have many friends causing yourself lonely, or what other people think about you being a loner, or anything. Loneliness is part of everyone’s life. We all get lonely sometime. The key is to do something about it if it really bothers you a lot. Don’t just ignore it because loneliness can lead to a severe depression and you only hurt yourself. Embrace your true emotional feeling and make the best out of it. Each emotion is only a temporary state, come and go.

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10:40 PM | Posted by Pheng | , with 1 comments »
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2008-07-22

Past Reminder



Sometimes, we are so into ourselves that we forgot things that we used to say or tell other people. Emotionally, things that we used to say always come back to us subconsciously.

Once upon a time, we said we wanted to change this and that. We told friends that we were not looking for love or relationship or any sorts of that we thought we should not be looking for. We analyzed our own behavior and decided to move forward and change our attitudes towards life. We also planed on doing this and that, so on and so forth. But sometimes, we fail to realize all those things that we said and told. It is not that we intentionally forget or simply ignore, but things can be changed in time. When someone told us about what we said before, it rings the bell and gets us to think and hopefully adjust our mood and attitudes to reflect that past time. Sometimes, we think we still want to do it, and sometimes we just don’t think we can do it. It’s all in our own hands to make decision.

To me, a reminder is good, especially when it involves emotions. Just the fact that it gets me to contemplate on things in the past and what’s going on now provides me a good way to think about life clear and loud. Most of the time, I still want to feel the same way as before that I said and told. Remember, it’s not about “because others are not doing it, that’s why I should not be doing it.” Be real to yourself!

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9:50 PM | Posted by Pheng | , , , with 0 comments »
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Before I go to bed tonight, I would like to share a good expression with you. It is onwards and upwards! It means something that you say in order to encourage someone to forget an unpleasant experience or failure and to think about the future instead (website source).

Life is not going to stay the same all the time, and that is the fun part of it – unpredictable. Therefore, cheer up and embrace the beauty of life. Onwards and upwards!

Good night!
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10:13 PM | Posted by Pheng | , with 1 comments »
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2008-07-20

Sweet Talking



There are two types of sweet talking. One is good, and another one is bad. It is bad when the giver is not being honest and he or she is just trying to get something that he or she wants from the receiver. On the other hand, sweet talking is good when the giver is honest and especially it makes the receiver feels good about himself or herself.

Sometimes, it is not hard to figure out whether the sweet talker is being honest or not. I have been there and experienced it. I did not buy whatever the lying sweet talkers were trying to say or tell me. However, sometimes it is not easy either to figure out the good and bad sweet talking. If you just set the sweet talking aside for a moment, and regardless it is good or bad, one thing you have to keep in mind is to not fall for things that your instinct is trying to tell you it is not good to listen to. Another thing you have to keep in mind is that sweet talking most often time makes you feel good about yourself. If this is the case, then go for it. Most people say they don’t like sweet talking, but underneath their consciousness, they already accept it as a compliment. If sweet talking was done in a healthy way from the giver, then why not accept it as a compliment? It will make you feel much better about yourself and it helps to burst up your self-confidence. These never go wrong with compliments.

Therefore, next time when you run into a sweet talker, stay alert about his or her intention. Later on, get in touch with your own feeling whether or not it makes you feel much better about yourself. Accept it as a compliment and smile to show your gratitude. You know that although your mouth says you don’t like sweet talking, but your heart already melt down.

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6:58 PM | Posted by Pheng | , , with 0 comments »
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2008-07-19

Happy Birthday!



Yesterday was my birthday. I am now 23 years old. I had a great time. My American friend family took me out to the China Buffet for lunch, and my friend Rich took me out to Siam – a local Thai restaurant for dinner and Hancock movie afterwards. In the meantime, I received a few text messages and calls from friends wishing me a happy birthday. Hancock movie was really cool. I like it and recommend it to you. All in all, I think I had a fulfilling birthday day.

Life isn’t about fun all the time. Most people, when they grow older, they wish that they have done something different in the past when they were young. Some people have regrets in their life and just wish that the time could ever go back so that they could have a do over. Unfortunately, time can only go forward and not backward. For the past 22 years, I do have my own regrets, but I don’t live in them. I move on and try to live my life better. We always say that if we have known that is what is going to happen by then, we would have done things in a different way. But again, you never know what would happen if you have done things in that different way and where would it take you now.

Everyone has a history. Everyone has a shady past. However, to live life to the fullest is to forgive that shady past and embrace them as part of our self-growth. We can always look back at it as a lesson, but don’t wallow ourselves in the agony that regrets bring. I believe that as I age older, I become wiser and see things in a different way that I have never seen before. My vision becomes clearer about life and where I stand. And to that, I say “Happy Birthday” to myself because I am happy to grow older and not regret about whatever happened 22 years ago.

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8:46 AM | Posted by Pheng | , with 0 comments »
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What is sad about life is not about what you don’t have, but it is about what you don’t value what you have. What is hard about life is not it seems to be, but it is about you are trying to make it hard and complicate it.

The past is the past, period. I understand that it’s hard to move on after a long term relationship, but by just living in that “ex” and complaining about it is not healthy at all. Especially, you drag yourself down because you think you will become lonely again, alone again, single again, whatever reasons that you convince yourself that you should not be happy because there’s no more partner. Living a life like that is nothing but pathetic. When you are a pessimistic person, all you can think of is the negativity. And it is hard to change an attitude because you are so used to it. However, it’s changeable if you are willing to help yourself first.

I know I am only 22 (23 tomorrow, hehe…). By trying to tell a 30 years old person something tonight about this, I got a comment back that I am only 22, I know nothing. I agree, I have not been through as much as he has, but each life events that happened to me in the past, I have never ignored them or forgot about them. I am learning and preparing myself when I become older. Sometimes, I just wish I am not too mature for my age, but again this helps me a lot to grow as a mature healthy individual.

The past belongs to the past. It takes time to get over someone and stuff, but the key point here is that you and only you can make yourself happy. You don’t want to celebrate birthday anymore because your special one has become your ex; he or she won’t be here to celebrate with you. You don’t want to do anything because he/she is no longer here to do those things with you. Blah blah blah…. All in all, you don’t want to kill all the fun that you deserve because he/she left you. Help yourself out of your trap, and get yourself out of your own maze, would you? Get the grip! Life is not easy, but it’s very simple. It’s only you that complicate it with your pessimism and mindset. Let us live in NOW. If you read the word NOW backward, it says WON.

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10:33 PM | Posted by Pheng | , with 1 comments »
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2008-07-16

Do Something



I stayed overtime at work today trying to solve a programming issue. I could not get it resolved but I decided to leave the office anyway because I was totally exhausted. While driving, I was debating whether or not to go to gym and I did not go. I went to Blimpie instead to get an Italian Combo 6’’ Sub and a small Macaroni. Then here I am at my apartment.

I was thinking that although I did not get the problem resolved, and tomorrow I am sure it’s going to be a crazy busy day again. But I still feel accomplished. As I always believe in, doing something is better than doing nothing. Doing something means I am making progress. Although I did not get the programming problem solved, I got the logic behind the code.

So I just want to remind everyone that don’t just sit around waiting for the problem to go away by itself. Don’t procrastinate either. Do something about it no matter how far you get, you will get something that is better than nothing.

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7:47 PM | Posted by Pheng | with 1 comments »
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2008-07-15

Apartment's Dilemma





I am still looking for an apartment. I found one, which is the place that I used to live at. It’s close to Boise River, which I like because I like to go for a walk in the evening sometime. It’s also close to Boise State University and Boise Downtown. But I am having a dilemma here about whether I should choose the first or the third floor?

I have been thinking about this the whole evening. My current landlord won’t allow me to move out until August 13th because I didn’t give the notice to him until July 13th. By law, I am supposed to give a 30 day notice for moving out. My new landlord, on the other hand, won’t allow me to move in to the first floor’s apartment on August 13th, meaning I have to move in there by August 1st. If I want to move in on August 13th, then I have to move in to another available apartment, which is located on the third floor. My dilemma is pretty much about pros and cons of living downstairs and upstairs. I got a few opinions from friends and they are all stuck in my mind. Sometimes, it helps to learn something new from people’s opinions although it can appear to some people that it’s just a common sense. I believe in life-long learning. Each person has different beliefs and understanding of how things work. It is not a shame for not knowing the common sense, but rather when you are afraid to ask because you think people might look at you as stupid as not getting common sense. Remember that, something might make sense to you more than to them and vice versa.

In the meantime, my current landlord is also trying to have my apartment rented by August 1st. If he can do that, then I don’t have to stay until August 13th. But I don’t want to put my hope too high on this. I have been contemplating on this, and I think I am going to go with this decision. If my current landlord can get my current apartment rented on August 1st, then I am going to take the new apartment’s first floor. If not, then I will take the new apartment’s third floor. Also, it will depend upon my tour at those units, which will not happen until July 29th. We’ll see about that. Meanwhile, I will keep looking at other apartment’s complex. I learn one thing that sometimes when we feel rushed to make decision without doing some thinking and research first, later on we tend to have a second thought. Therefore, we should sleep on the decision for an evening or a day or so before we make the final one, and try to find possible options out there that work for us.

P.S: Posted photos were taken when I first moved in to the apartment over there.

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10:55 PM | Posted by Pheng | , , with 2 comments »
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2008-07-14

Self-Reflection



Life has its up and down. There’s no one on this earth that can be happy all the time, and there’s no one in this world that can be unhappy or stay mad all the time either. In fact, life can be fair if we know how to live it and lessen envy. We tend to focus more on the moment that we are not happy, in other words, negativity. We wonder why do we have more sorrow than we do with joy? The answer is more or less we actually have the same amount of happy and unhappy emotions. We just have to pay attention when we are happy, and focus on positivity as well.

I admit it. I was mad this evening. But I immediately thought about this blog and what I have been writing on it. I used to say anger creates resentment and resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other guy to die. I failed to realize that but this blog helped me to re-think and to pull myself together again. It told me to get the grip and helped me to understand how anger can deteriorate my own emotions, while things should not be taken too personal. I am here trying to tell readers every single time to live life the fullest, and to be themselves all the time, yet there I was failing to act on my own concept.

The point is I am just like everyone else. I make mistakes and I have my up and down moments, but I never cease to make my life and myself feel better. This blog helps me a lot when it comes to getting over things and moving forward with my life. Like a friend said, writing is therapeutic and it is a way of self-reflection. This blog is my therapist and it is the means for me to self-reflect for my personal growth as an individual.

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11:02 PM | Posted by Pheng | , , with 0 comments »
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2008-07-13

Help Yourself First


I am honestly getting tired of listening to complains from some friends. I love to be there for them, and would do anything to help them. However, when it comes to motivation, I am still an outsider. That’s being said, if they are not willing to help themselves first, how am I going to be able to help them? I have been told all the time from friends about being fat and wanting to lose weight, but said without action is totally useless. I can be all ears when they complain about it, but after months and months, they still complain the same. I find that kind of irritating because every time I have to repeat to them about what to do in order to stay back in shape. Do they listen? Yes, they do and even nod their heads. But do they act on it? Apparently not!

I understand that each individual is very unique in his or her own way and image. I can’t force someone to be self-motivated like I am. I can’t tell someone to do what they don’t like to do. But complain is not really a healthy thing to live with. Years down the road, you might still see yourself complain again over the same things. If you wisely use those years to work on the problems that you complained about in the first place, you might see the change of the result by now. I encourage friends to work on things that make them feel good about themselves, but it is still up to them to make things work for themselves. This takes commitment and self-motivation, as well as the ambition to succeed.

Another factor is about giving up half way. This action is even worse than not started at all in the first place. Why? If you can ever imagine the efforts that you put in doing something, and suddenly you decide to quit and go back to the routine for convenience or whatever reason I can’t do it. It is that one minute’s misconception that makes you deny all the efforts that you have worked so hard. It requires a lot of time and steps to work on things that you think it needs work in the first place and along the way, but it takes only quick moment and single step to ruin everything. Of course, you can start over again and there’s nothing wrong with that, but if you stay determined, your goal might be attained by now.

I am not a very spiritual person, but one of my favorite quotes is “Help yourself and God will help you.”

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11:06 PM | Posted by Pheng | , , with 2 comments »
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Today, I am posting a music video from Disney’s Original Movie – Camp Rock. The lyric explains it all about self-image. This has become one of my favorite music that I listen to. So sit back and enjoy. I hope you find yourself too.



Camp Rock- This is Me / Gotta Find You OFFICIAL Video with lyrics on screen (FULL 3 minutes HQ)
*The Lyrics are the annotation so dont turn off the annotation feature*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Disney Channel Original Movie
Jonas Brothers
Demi Lovato
ALyson Stoner
Movie Premiere on June 20th (My birthday!)
Soundtrack comes out on June 17th
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
LYRICS:

(Verse 1)
Always been the kind of girl that hid my face
So afraid to tell the world what I've got to say
But I have this dream bright inside of me
I'm gonna let it show
It's time
To let you know, to let you know

(Chorus)
This is real, this is me
I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be now
Gonna let the light shine on me
Now I've found, who I am
There's no way to hold it in
No more hiding who I want to be
This is me

(Verse 2)
Do you know what it's like to feel so in the dark?
To dream about a life where you're the shining star
Even though it seems
Like it's too far away
I have to believe in myself
It's the only way

(Chorus)
This is real, this is me
I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be now
Gonna let the light shine on me
Now I've found, who I am
There's no way to hold it in
No more hiding who I wanna be
This is me

(Verse 3)
Joe:
You're the voice I hear inside my head
The reason that I'm singing
I need to find you, I gotta find you
You're the missing piece I need
The song inside of me
I need to find you

Demi & Joe:
I gotta find you
This is real, this is me
I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be now
Gonna let the light shine on me
Now I've found, who I am
There's no way to hold it in
No more hiding who I wanna be

(This is me) You're the missing piece I need the song inside of me
(This is me) You're the voice I hear inside my head
(Yeah) The reason that I'm singing

Joe & Demi:
Now I've found
Who I am
There's no way to hold it in
No more hiding who I wanna be
This is me
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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2:50 PM | Posted by Pheng | , , with 0 comments »
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2008-07-12

Flexibility



Some of you might know that I used to mention that I have been waiting for the “result” before on some of my posts. I also said that if this result turns out good, I will reveal it here. Right after I came back from my trip, I saw the official document of my approved working visa sat on my office desk. I was too excited to work that day. My approved working visa is the result that I referred to.

Lately, I have been working and looking for a new apartment. I am so happy that I am able to stay in the state for three more years, and thus, it’s time for an apartment change. I don’t like my current apartment because when it’s summer, it gets very hot, and when it’s winter, it gets very cold. Especially, it’s very “buggy.” From looking for the apartment, I learned one thing tonight. See, I have this list for what I am looking for in an apartment: dish washer, central air conditioning, heat, location, price, laundry facility, neighborhood, and covered/garage parking space. These are the major requirements that I am looking for. The price range I have in mind is between 400 to 500 dollars a month for the rent, but it’s very hard to find an apartment in that price range and meet all my requirements that I listed above. In the end, I had to decide to let go some requirements, for instances, covered/garage parking lot and central air conditioning.

From that, it got me to think about relationship wise. Some people think that they know what they are looking for, but I find that hard to believe. To me, life should not be too rigid but rather have some exceptions. We set standards for what we look for in a relationship and criteria about what we want in a partner or a lover. We start to list this and that, and wait for the right one who meets those specific requirements to show up. The boundary that we set here is too limited to me. Instead of discovering the dating world, we create limitations and make ourselves become more rigid and picky. Yet, we still wonder why I am still single? It is good to realize that we know what we want and what we are after, as well as the fact that we do have standards. We do not want to seem too easy or too desperate because that does not make us sexy after all. However, sometimes life has to be created with some exceptions. Just like my example of looking for the apartment, if I have to be stubborn and have to stick with all my requirements, I will not find an apartment with that price range. I had to decide to be flexible. In order to get a garage parking and nice central air, I have to be willing to pay more. If I do not want to pay more, I have to forgo those nice features. This applies the same to when we are looking for a boyfriend or a girlfriend. You will never find a perfect match, but one that is so close to perfect and good enough for you. We have to be more flexible in the relationship world and be ready to compromise in differences between humans. In other words, set realistic and flexible standards, and leave the unattainable ones to fantasy and illusion.

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1:31 AM | Posted by Pheng | , , with 0 comments »
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Today is the day me and my friends driving back home to Boise. After a tour that Jason and Chris gave us in Salt Lake City this afternoon and a nice lunch at Charlie’s Chow, I am in the car right now writing this. I have been really missing my blog since I have been gone.

Besides from the bitchy and cynical parts of one of my friends, the overall trip was fun and exciting. On the first day, Jason, Brian and I drove from Boise to Salt Lake City. We left about 9:30 and arrived in SLC at around 3 o’clock in the afternoon. We drove up to another friend’s house, and that’s where we were staying. Chris is a funny and mellow type of guy. Afterwards, Jason suggested going to IKEA, a furniture store which is huge that I wish Boise had one. Then we wanted to have a good dinner and wanted to dine at local Chinese restaurant called Charlie’s Chow, but it was closed. We decided to go to Olive Garden instead. At about 9:45 in the evening, we drove up to the University of Utah’s golf campus to watch the 4th of July’s firework. From that campus, we could see huge SLC valley, but the firework watching experience was not very exciting because we picked the wrong spot to watch the firework. We were practically “looking for” firework to watch, hehe… but it was all good and we enjoyed ourselves though the night bugs were annoying. Later on, Jason wanted Chris to show Brian the 8th street in SLC, which basically is a road that is high and the driver really cannot see the lower part of the road while driving. It was cool but we were stuck in the traffic at the Sugar House area due to people is coming out from there after watching the firework. We should have gone to Sugar House to watch firework. The traffic was really bad! We were totally stuck in the traffic for about one and half hour. We made it home at around 11:30 or so, and Brian started to mention about going out to the club, which was initially planned. I was a llittle bit tired and was going to not go, but I felt like since I was in SLC, I might as well check out the club scene. I wanted to go, and Chris did not object with the idea, but Jason was the one that just wanted to go to sleep. He started to blah blah about the timing concern with going to the club, waking up in the morning, going to the parks, and so forth causing the going out’s plan cancelled. I was pissed and said “Well, then I am going to bed.” They all saw that I was mad. I did not want to behave that way, but I was just sick of everything has to be done according to Jason’s way. Later on though, they all changed their mind and asked me to go out, haha…. The club was lame; I did not enjoy it at all. It wasn’t a dancing club but was more like a socializing club. My friends though all enjoyed themselves which was cool. It was worth an experience. I went to bed very good that night, except for Brian snored. I ended up going upstairs and took the couch instead.

On the second day, July 5th, we all got up and got ready to go for another 4 hours drive to Arches National Park in Moab. At about 9:30, we left SLC and headed to Moab. On the journey to the park, the scenery was just so magnificent. We stopped at couple view points - Salt Wash and Devil’s Canyon to take some photos and look at the sceneries. I got my refrigerator magnet right before we entered to the park. The park’s admission was only 10 dollars, but the sceneries in there were amazing. We got to see different shapes of rocks, mountains, and arches. We wanted to see the Delicate Arch, which is the arch that is on the Utah’s license plate, but we had to hike to it. The distance was about 2 miles round trip, and we were running out of time so we did not go but we were able to go to the view point where we were still able to see the Delicate Arch from the distant. Then we drove up to a spot that we were able to see Sand Dune, Broken, and Skyline Arches. Jason and Chris were climbing to the top of the Sand Dune arch, and I did too. But I was scared to death when I reached the top. I could not even get off, and Jason came to my rescue. It was a fun interactive experience. Later on we hiked about .8 miles to see the Tunnel, Pine Tree, and Landscape Arches. Brian and I took a lot of pictures on our cameras. We all were exhausted that evening. We left the park around 7ish and drove up to Moab. It is a small interesting tourist town. We ate at the Burger King. We wanted to stay in a motel in Moab but we already made a motel reservation in St. George, which is another 4 hours drive from Moab. The plan was to go to St. George so that we could get up in the morning and drove to Zion National Park. Chris and Brian suggested going back to SLC and cancelled other parks’ plan. I was neutral. I did not care much about going to the parks or back. Jason wanted to do the parks, which I later on agreed. My original plan was to see the Arches. It did not really bother me much whether or not to see Zion and Bryce Canyon National Parks. I was happy though that we decided to go to see those parks. Chris was driving that night from Moab to St. George, and we did not get to our Sun Time Motel until 2 o’clock in the morning.

I suppose I had a good night sleep, but those three guys appear to not, especially Jason. He got irritated right when we went for a nice breakfast at Village Inn. This was a 3rd day of our trip, July 6th. We left St. George for Zion National Park. We stopped at a small town called Virgin, Utah. We went into a gift shop there that I got myself a refrigerator magnet that says Zion National Park. We continued our journey and finally reached the park at about 1:30 or so in the afternoon. We decided to park the outside the park so that we could get on the park’s shuttle, which took the tourists for the park’s tour. The shuttle service fee came with the park’s admission fee, which is 25 dollars. The tour was interesting and quite an experience. We got to hear some information about the park, found out the names of the major sight seeing locations were given by a Baptist Minster who was a Methodist Christian, and got to see those huge rocks and mountains. I honestly had no any idea about the Zion National Park. The shuttle basically stopped at seven locations, and the tourists could choose which location they wanted to stop at. The shuttle ran every 5-6 minutes. We stopped at the Three Patriarchs, Weeping Rock, and the final stop. We took a lot of photos of the park and us. Zion National Park was not my favorite park, but like I said it’s worth an experience to check it out. I am glad we went there. Brian was nice enough to buy me, Jason, and Chris a refrigerator magnet that says Zion National Park from the Visitor Center for a souvenir. Now, he created a dilemma for me because now I have two magnets that say Zion National Park, and they both are good magnets, hehe…

The next stop was the Bryce Canyon National Park. We had to drive through the Zion National Park to get there. This time, we drove through the park without the shuttle, and man, those red rocks that we saw earlier were huge. Driving through the Zion kind of scared me because we practically drove on the mountain. We drove through two tunnels – one was 1.1 mile and the other one was very short, but it was really cool. That time, it was raining. But raining added the magnificence to the view. We took a lot of photos of that. It took another hour to get to the Bryce Canyon. We had to stop at a restaurant, which I don’t remember the name, but it was a terrible experience. Chris’s sandwich ended up with a plastic in it. The owner gave his meal for free. Brian’s order was a little bit messed up, Jason was not pleased with his meal and the service, and my sandwiches were too dry. Then, on our way to the Bryce, we also had to go through the Red Canyon, which was really cool. The shapes and the red color of the rocks were amazing. Finally we arrived at the Bryce. The admission was 25 dollars per small vehicle. We got to see the Sunset and the Bryce point. The canyon was really huge and very cool. You have to see this for yourself to believe what I am saying here. Those three guys made conversation with a Switzerland couple that we met there, which I think it wasted a ton of time to see the rest of the park. Given that we did not have enough time to visit the park, and the elevation was high that the weather was cold, we decided to stay at the motel over there and visit the park the next day. However, there were no any vacancies, and we were concerned about our budget as well. Finally, we decided to drive back to SLC around 9pm. Bryce Canyon was great, but we just did not have enough time to visit the rest of the park. We all regret about it, especially Jason. For me, I was cool with it.

P.S: More photos can be found on my trip's photo on Shutterfly. The link is above.

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6:12 PM | Posted by Pheng | with 0 comments »
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2008-07-08

What If?



One of my friends who already had the working visa approved, and is in the Green Card process got laid off two weeks ago. Luckily, he got another similar job, but not sure if the Green Card process got screwed up or not. The gist of it is that life is always changed. The unknown circumstances around us are changing according to the time and sometimes environment. It got me to think that we really have a hard time trusting life. It can be full of opportunities, but it can be also full of risks. It is very nerve wrecking to me because whatever my friend went through, what if it happens to me too some day.

I hate the fact that I even have this sort of fear. I hate the fact that I “what if” again. I even hate the fact that I am here worried about the future. But these can be used as an emotional preparation. It means that when the “if” part really happens, at least we thought about it before and become less paranoid when the predicted thing really happens in the future. However, we should make this a temporary thing and not a permanent one. Living in fear is nothing but a self-destruction. Get yourself prepared by looking for solutions and options, but clear your mind as quickly as possible because keep worrying about the future is useless and it does not help the situation at all. More importantly, you kill the present time, which you should be enjoying and living in it.

I learn that things usually happen in phases. Most of the time, they happen for some reasons. However, that does not mean I have to worry about each phase and wallow myself in fear. We should all live in NOW steps by steps, and take each day as a gift for living. As always, live our lives to the fullest!

P.S: I wrote my Utah trip yesterday but I am waiting for my trip's photos to get uploaded and then post them here along with my trip's information.

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10:31 PM | Posted by Pheng | , , , with 1 comments »
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My first day at Utah turned out alright. I have seen a lot of aggressive situations today. Being bold and aggressive is acceptable when it is done appropriately. Some people are just too aggressive that really make me sick. I do not want to sound very judgmental here because I am not a judgmental freak. But I like what I like, and believe in what I believe that makes me feel good about myself, and more importantly, something or someone that does not harm my self-esteem.

I have been trying to improve every aspects of my self-image. It has been going quite well, and I want to keep it that way. Therefore, when I am with someone that is like everything his own way, I am sick of it. I have a friend who I know through another friend. He is acting like that – things have to be done his way. Time, plan, places to go, what to see, etc. have to be his idea. I have observed this the whole time, and gave it a shot to come on this trip with him and my other two friends to see how it would turn out. To my surprise, I could not stand it. My other two friends are cool, but I can see why they can be with that friend. It is because they literally “follow” him. This is just the way how things work though because if friends don’t find compatibility with one another, then friendship will never happen. It is not a kind of friendship that I want.

I am writing this up not because I am not enjoying the trip. I am very much enjoying it. However, I want to make a point that be who you want to be, do what you want to do, and act what you are prompted to act. It is you and only you that you have. Selling your own soul to another person is just a waste part of your life. If someone does not let you be yourself and does not make you feel good about yourself, you really should not hang around that person too much. The reason beyond that is you do not want your self-esteem to be devastated by the other person’s actions or words. Your happiness is what counts. Being around negative people makes you become negative too sooner or later. Being around complaining people makes you a bitchy person when you least expect it. Being around “things have to be done my way” people hurts your self-image because you never get to express yourself. I do not want this to happen to me. I strive to be happy in this life, to live my life to the fullest just the way I am creating it to be, and therefore, I do not want anyone to dwindle that passion and make me feel terrible about my self-expression. You think about this, and look at things and people around you. Maybe it is time to re-organize them in your life.

I am not saying here that the negative people, complaining people, or even “things have to be done my way” people are bad. Absolutely not! We are all tying our best to live our lives. If that’s the way they behave and that’s what makes them feel good about themselves, then let them be. But it is you that I want you to focus on. That is being said, whether or not it makes you happy to be around those people.

Good night.

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7:52 AM | Posted by Pheng | , , with 1 comments »
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2008-07-03

Happy 4th of July



I have not travelled for awhile now. Tomorrow is the 4th of July – American Independence Day holiday, me and my friends are going to Utah. It will be a road trip. First, we will be going to Salt Lake City, and then we will be going to the Arches, Bryce Canyon, and hopefully Zion National Parks. I hope to return to Boise by Monday. I have two days off from work (Monday and Tuesday), and they are paid time offs, hehe…

Traveling is one of my favorite things to do. I usually like to try out new places. I have been to Salt Lake City before, but I have not been to those mentioned national parks. In our lives, how many times that we are afraid of doing new things? We are afraid of adventures and risks. With this lack of tenacity, we give up the fact of what we want to do or where we want to go. We put those things on hold. Trying new things is fun, and that includes going to new places too. I was not born in America, but I chose to come here all by myself. I moved from Cambodia to Indiana, and then from Indiana to Idaho, between that I have traveled to a few states. It has been a fun experience, and more importantly, it is my favorite thing to do. I was a student and was not rich, just like other students that had to work and study at the same time, but when I got a chance I was willing to spend money just to travel. The reason for that is very simple, that is because I want to do so.

It is holiday, so go out and do something. Life is fun when we know how to make it the way that we think it is fun. Let go the fear and worries, go check out some places that you have not been to, do something that you always wanted to do but did not have a chance or have been afraid to do. It is risk that brings the excitement and fulfilling, and it is adventure that brings the joy and accomplishment. To live life to the fullest is to be willing to go on adventures and take risks.

I will post some photos when I get back. I will take my laptop with me so who knows if I will be inspired to write something during the trip. Until then, happy 4th of July ;)


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8:55 PM | Posted by Pheng | , with 0 comments »
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2008-07-02

Happy Blogging



Time does fly very fast. Just a simple glance, it is the middle of the year 2008. I have been blogging for quite awhile, but for this “Live Life to the Fullest,” I have been writing for only a month so far. What sets this blog aside from other blogs that I used to have is that things that I write here are more inspiring and personal growing.

I want to share with you all that I appreciate you spend time reading this blog, and I hope it can bring happiness and ideas about how you can live your life to the fullest that you want it to be. For the past month (June), I had written every day something to post on here, and all related to my personal experiences that happened each day. I turned worries, unhappiness, angers, boredom, loneliness, and other defective emotional feelings into words that I triggered those negative feelings to positive ones for my personal growth’s sake. Also, I hope that those words can mean something to the readers as well. The point is I have been happy since June. For the most part, this blog has been helping me a lot with personal growth and life improvement.

I believe that when we write something more inspiring with positivity, our life is filled with hopes and dreams. The moment we go back to read what we wrote, it also provides us with positive thoughts within our mind. Picture this, you write something about a sad time or an emotional journal, when you go back to read it, your mood can be changed with whatever was written. Sadly, it’s sad. Therefore, I recommend you all to write something that makes you happy, leave out the unhappy parts. If you have a bad day, turn the negative feelings to positive ones in your writing. Once again, do whatever you want to do. This simply is just my suggestion that I learn from blogging this blog. There are ways that you can make yourself happy, do share if you have some. Lastly, happy blogging!

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6:14 PM | Posted by Pheng | , with 1 comments »
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2008-07-01

I Am Sorry



Do you have a habit of saying “Sorry?” Apologizing to people when we do something wrong is very well done, but when we actually do not do anything wrong, or in other words, it is not our fault, then it is very horrible done. Due to our habit, we tend to apologize quickly when things go wrong. Another major factor is that we have a low self-esteem issue.

I used to be like that, sorry this and sorry that, when in fact, it was not my fault and things were even out of my control. I often felt bad when things went wrong and I did not know what to say besides saying sorry and hoping that the other person would understand and forgive me. Apology can be considered an argument settlement, that’s being said if one party is willing to accept he or she is wrong and apologize, and then the other person will feel good and stop the argument. In my case, I feel responsible for things that I lay my hands on.

However, the reality does not work this way. Change the habit of saying sorry, and only say and mean it when things go wrong because of your actions. Misunderstanding is every where, but that does not mean it is you that cause the misunderstanding thing to happen in the first place. Sure you might send out wrong signals or say something that’s not fully understood by the other person, but it’s not like something that you should feel bad and tell yourself that you are stupid and horrible at communication. It can be something that is totally out of your control. Remember, there’s always at least a root of problem. You are obligated to analyze that root, and see if it really is your fault or not. No one is perfect or never does anything wrong, but when often time we apologize, we send out negative thoughts to our mind when it really has nothing to do with us. Low self-esteem folks would beat themselves up terribly. I have been there and done that, but I have also done changing my habit of saying sorry all the time. The point is, it is nice to feel responsible and that shows how dependable person you are, but if you don’t mean it when you say it, then what’s the point of apologizing? More importantly, if saying sorry means it is your entire fault, and you send out those negative thoughts to your mind, finally you make yourself feel terrible, it will be totally useless. Think about this and next time re-evaluate the problems and causes before saying sorry, trust me, you will feel much better.

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8:37 PM | Posted by Pheng | , with 2 comments »
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