2008-09-30

Rainbow Deep Down



I made this dinner last night, and its name is based on a quote "When you have a rainbow deep down in your heart, your smile will shine bright. You know you're a part of that colorful, magical, feeling you'll find, when you have a rainbow inside." - Unknown.

The ingredients of this meal are:
  • Beef
  • Mango
  • Pineapple
  • Bell peppers
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7:34 PM | Posted by Pheng | with 1 comments »
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2008-09-28

Reset


I am always afraid that time can fly away pretty quick. My age will go away according to the time, and what’s left for me will be just life time experiences. I have to confess that I am trying to live my life too hard. The whole reason behind that is because I am afraid of losing the time. I am afraid that once time slips away and I do not do anything that does not make me regret afterwards, I will be.. well, regretful.

This weekend has been a long weekend for me. I have been thinking about many things in life in general. The fact that I have to deal with the issues that I am facing now, and my personal life, I am totally restless emotionally. But, it is time for a “reset.”

I here affirm myself that “I am ready to let go the past.” Besides the issues that I have to deal with, I am not going to worry or afraid of losing time anymore. I realize that by living a life in fear is tremendously difficult. Every steps and moves, you have to be so careful and most of the time, the more careful I get, the worse things go. In the end, I still live in fear and regret about things that go and don’t meet my expectations.

Sometimes, it takes a person very long to realize that what kind of life he or she wants. Some people want to change, but they only think in their heads instead of putting those thoughts in actions. A change is always good, but you have to really mean it. I am resetting my perspective about life and time to a particular starting point, and if any of you out there that wants to have a change as well, do not hesitate to commit to it. Think about your life, do you like it or not? If you resist to change, think about it, you have been living that kind of life that you don’t enjoy for so long and yet you are still not happy with it, why do you still want to be unhappy? 

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10:36 PM | Posted by Pheng | , , with 0 comments »
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Some people like to think that the whole reason why they are still single because there’s something wrong with them. An HIV positive guy thinks that because of his status, that’s why he’s still single. A fat girl thinks that because she’s fat, and that’s why she is single. One of those people out there thinks that because the city is too small and less diverse, that’s why he/she is single. This can go on and on.

Granted, it’s all about individualism. But if we put all of these together, we will see that each individual is being hard on themselves. The HIV negative guy, the good looking girl, the one that lives in a big city, has a great job, has a great socializing skills, yet wonders the same thing why he or she is still single. I think that subconsciously, those people like to create a reason as an excuse to make themselves feel better about the whole “being single” thing. They need a proof or a cause to explain to themselves about why they are single.

Some people move from one place to another. Some hit the gym so hard just to get in shape hoping that he or she will be no longer single. However, I have seen the case that when those people reach their goals, they are still single and unhappy. Then, they start to create another so called “reason” for why they are still single. The pattern here is pretty obvious that they are being hard on themselves. They do not see what they have, and do not look at where they are now. All they focus on is the “reasons” that make them single, and those reasons always tend to be the bad ones about themselves. The self-image here therefore is destructed.

Some may argue that all of those reasons can lead a person to improve on himself or herself, which I also like about self-improvement. But the point is all about being happy within self. No matter how much you are going to improve yourself, if you are not happy and all you can think of is improving yourself just to impress somebody, you are setting a high expectation that is doomed to fail, and as a result, you get disappointed.

I encourage you to keep improving yourself, but for the sake of your own happiness. That’s being said, you want to do that to feel better about yourself not because it is the reason why you are single and therefore you want to change yourself. You need to be happy and that’s what makes the self-improvement process worth your time and more enjoyable when you start seeing the result. You are single that’s because you are single, period.

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3:40 PM | Posted by Pheng | , , with 0 comments »
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It goes with life is short and everyone should live life to the fullest. I believe that the success of life is not about how much you earn or how popular you are, but it is more about who you really want to be as an individual in life.

Self-improvement has been playing a big role in my life, and I enjoy every single time and day that I self-reflect on actions and circumstances around me. My ultimate goal is to live a life that I want it to be and be happier. Hence, the “Live Life to the Fullest” blog was created to focus on personal development through my personal experiences in life. Besides from self-growth, there are more aspects in life that this blog focuses on such as love/relationship, friendship, work, multimedia, psychology, so on and so forth.

As mentioned, all post here is purely based on my personal experiences and opinions. I would not expect anyone that comes across this site to agree with every single word I said, but I also do not oppose anyone to post any disagreement comments or whatsoever. This blog is open to public and I welcome everyone to stop by and read. All I am asking for is the respect from everyone while browsing my blog.

Finally, I hope that this blog can provide readers out there some information that they are looking for in life general. One of my inspirations creating this blog is to be able to verbalize my feeling and experiences on this blog, share with other people, and hope that it can help them out regarding self-esteem and some emotional crisis. But, once again it’s mainly based on my personal opinions.

11:55 PM | Posted by Pheng with 0 comments »
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2008-09-15

Reflection


Sometimes, whenever we break up with our lovers, we think that it is the other person’s fault, and sometimes, we think that it’s our faults. There’s also a situation that when someone quit seeing us, we think that it’s either that someone’s fault or our faults. Personally, I think that by focusing on too much about whose fault it is, is simply a waste of time. Some people find that by blaming others makes him or her feel much better about the situation, and low self-esteem people would just blame on themselves for anything that goes wrong.

For the past week, I have been contemplating about how a person is treated in either good or bad way. No matter what prompted the other person to lie to the other person, or to sweet talk to just get whatever he or she wants out of the other person, it is life and it is how some human being is. But it happens and everyone goes through that. It’s part of the growing and learning experiences. However, by resenting what already happened because of the other person’s behavior is like you are murdering no one but yourself. In the past week, I was thankful for being hurt by that person. I would rather admit that I was hurt rather than I was resentful for the fact that I was lied to, though anger is more than resentment. But thanks to time, I was able to be healed quickly. After being healed, if I did not self-reflect about what happened, I would be the dumbest person ever in this world. Why would I say that? Because without being lied to, I would not be able to know much better about myself and pursue what I always look for in life. Consequently, I am no longer bitter, but better. The most precious thing that came out of it was that I re-arranged my life and reset my starting point in my journey in every aspect of life and relationship.

No one wants to hurt you emotionally, but you want to be hurt by someone. Without your permission, no one can really hurt you unless you always think that you are the victim of the world. Get yourself out of that abyss!  It’s not a healthy place to be in. I start to believe that things happen for a reason. We should start embracing the bad things that happened and acknowledge them as bad, just simply face them. Once again, learn from them! This applies the same to a bad person that hurt us. Try to look at him or her as a way to motivate you to think and grow to become a better and stronger person. He or she showed up in your life for a reason. It is sad enough to drag yourself in resentment and blaming him or her, but it’s sadder when you don’t self-reflect to see what, how, and why it happened that way. 

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2008-09-14

Happy As We Are


For these few days, I have been focusing on what I am having. I have been counting the blessing of things that happen to me and things that I own. I feel that, in life, if we focus on things that we have instead of things that we don’t have, life will be much better.

Every time after clubbing, if I drive, I only drink one beer. But every time I get home safely without any accidents or getting pulled over by the police, I feel so thankful for that. This makes me realize that the gratitude is the way to comfort one’s soul. What we really have in life really is our lives. Just the fact that we appreciate the gift of life means that we know how to enjoy life.

Another thing is the issue of “don’t have.” When we look at the magazine, TV, movies, or whatsoever things out there that have the good body men and women, we tend to start thinking that “I wish I had that kind of body.” We want a lot out of life. That’s the symptom of feeling envious. We compare what we have with other people and focus on the things that those people have. We fail to realize the things that we have and in fact, other people might feel envious to have as well.

When envy occurs, our self-esteem is hurt. We no longer see the worth of ourselves, and consequently, we no longer enjoy things and people that love us in our lives. We spend time wallowing ourselves in agony of raising the question “Why cannot I have that like he or she does?” But as cliché as it sounds, everyone is different. 

You must focus on where you are at now. The past is done, and what you have is “now” that will become your past again, but it is this “now” that you can make a difference for your future. The importance of self-discovery is that we are happy the way we are.

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8:23 AM | Posted by Pheng | , , , with 0 comments »
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Today is Friday, I was so enthusiastic to make a nice dinner with a sense of creativity. I name this meal after a quote “Enthusiasm is excitement with inspiration, motivation, and a pinch of creativity.” I am sure you all are looking for the weekend as well. 

I really like this quote. Everyday, if we tend to be a little bit more creative to make our days a little bit more productive, then we will be more happy and less boredom. Let’s look at the ingredients in this meal.

  • Ramen noodle (2 packs)
  • Sliced pork
  • Pork meatballs
  • Tomatoes
  • Seafood broth
  • Fish sauce
  • Sugar
  • Lemon
On the side was the chilli sauce that I made. The ingredients in it are:
  • Chilli sauce
  • Chilli paste
  • Sugar
  • Chopped garlic
  • Lemon
T.G.I.F = Thanks God It's Friday! Be creative - cook a unique meal, create something, do something productive, compose a lyric and song, write something that expresses yourself, anything that inspires and motivates your enthusiasm. 

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9:52 PM | Posted by Pheng | , with 1 comments »
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Tonight’s dinner is an Italian style, but Pheng-made food ;) I name this food as “When odds are one in a million, be that one.” The name speaks for its own. I did not know what I was doing. I was just hungry and therefore, I just made and mixed something easy and Walla!

This food consists of:

  • Farfalle Pasta
  • Spaghetti Pasta
  • Garlic Shrimp fried
  • Spinach
  • Hot chilli sauce
Remember, no matter how other people think of your odd side, it is that side that defines who you are. Don't care too much about what they think. Embrace your odd and be who you really are. 

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7:44 PM | Posted by Pheng | with 0 comments »
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Have you ever looked at people as human being rather than skin color? Have you ever connected to people at their face value without any mind-reading and pre-judgment?

Stereotyping is floating around in this world. If you are Asian, that means you eat rice, good at Math and save every penny you can. If you are Caucasian, you are hairy, fat, eat junk food and very open to sexual subjects. If you are black, you have bad smell and lazy, and if you are Latino, you can be a gangster. These are just examples. We all know that this is just another stereotype issue in every society. Deep down inside of us, we realize that every country, nation and culture, these types of people do exist. More or less, they are the same, and that’s what the term “human” refers to. We all are human, period.

However, when we become a mind-reading and pre-judgmental freak, we often time tend to look at people NOT as human, but rather generalize one particular behavior, interest, skin color into one particular group in a mocking way or often time bad way. We fail to realize that each person is different. Of course some actions could be very obvious that everyone knows from personal experiences, but those still do not give us enough information or right to judge and generalize others based on their looks or race.

Your life is in your own hand. Your life so far is what you have created. Fill in this blank ______ with your name, and say that it is ______’s life. For instance, my life, it is Pheng’s life. No matter what ethnicity you have, or how rich you are, it is your own life and it requires your own responsibility. Acknowledge yourself that and eventually show the rest of the people that it is ______’s life, it is not a life style’s life, not a heterosexual’s or homosexual’s life, not a particular religion’s life, not a particular ethnicity’s life, not a particular gender’s life, not a pop star’s or rock star’s life, not a foreigner’s life, not an international or domestic student’s life, not a single or married person’s life, so on and so forth. It is your life and you determine what life you want it to be. While you are doing and thinking this way, you have to also treat other people the same way. Interact with other people at their face value. This is the only way to attract those open-minded people in your life as well. Screw the stereotype and judgment! As long as you treat yourself as a human rather than what you possess and treat other human the same, then give yourself a kudo! Remember, what goes around, comes around!

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12:49 PM | Posted by Pheng | , with 0 comments »
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Tonight, I made a Cambodian style food for my dinner. I name it "The Grass Is Always Greener on the Other Side of the Fence." I hope that you will feel the same way, and do not give up on things easily. There's always a better plan for you, and things happened for a reason. 


I first mixed black pepper, salt, and sugar together, then I squeezed lemon on that mixture. Stir fried the meats with chopped garlic to put on the vegetables, and ate with rice. There are:
  • Spinanch
  • Green tomatoes
  • Cucumbers
  • Green peppers
  • Chicken
  • Pork
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7:24 PM | Posted by Pheng | with 0 comments »
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I have learned one thing from these past few days about getting what you want. See we are all different, and our wants and needs are also different. Other people won’t know what we want until we speak it up through words and actions. It is “you” that define the things that “you” want.

We are all adults here. We are no longer a baby that can cry and then get what we want. We become responsible adults that every step that we take, we are accounted for. Some might find it a little bit hard to figure out what they want, and some know what they want just like that. Let me give you an example. If you are dating with someone, and then after the first date, you start to wonder if the other person is into you or not. You begin to wait for his/her calls, text messages, emails, or any other communication means. However, you don’t know what is he or she thinking right now. Maybe, he or she could be doing the same thing – waiting to hear from you. But let me tell you now, it doesn’t matter about what is he or she thinking. The point is, “you” are the one that you know exactly what is on your mind, and what you are doing. In this example, what’s on your mind is that person, and what you are doing is waiting for that person to make the move. It is advised that to give some time to think about things and to get in touch with yourself more clear about what you want from the other person. The main point here is that why do you want to make the first move? If you can answer this question, then you should know very well why do you want do that. It could be that you like the person, or you need to straight things out between you two, or whatever reasons are there. Of course rejection sucks, but what would be worse than sitting and waiting around wondering while you can express your true feeling and show your interest just a call or text send away? What you get out of doing this is the “answer” that you have been waiting for.

Ask yourself what do you want from the other person? It is “you.” Yes, I repeat, it is “you” that you should give 100% attention to. If you don’t get what you want, at least you realize that the thing is not meant for you, and finally you get the answer for yourself whether or not he or she is into you, and all I can say, you will feel much better than waiting. The pattern is “I make the move because I….” Yes, because YOU want something.

Be true to yourself. The self-journey is not an easy journey while you don’t know what you want and become passive to wait for the other person to give you the answer. Things would never just fall from the sky for you, you have to do something in order to get it. It is from reaching out that we gain something in return. After all, it is “you” that all you have – the best friend and companion until you leave this world. One of my favorite quotes from a Korean series is “It is sad to be rejected, but without expressing your own regard is even more sad.” You have done your part, and that’s all it matters.

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1:44 PM | Posted by Pheng | , with 0 comments »
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Tonight, before I go to bed, I would like to share with you a quote from a Chinese author. She once said “I ask those of you to promise me that, you must never give up your tendered and sensitive heart. Being able to feel touched is a very precious mood, and being able to love and to be loved is a joyful springhead.”

Sweet dreams!
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10:54 PM | Posted by Pheng | , with 0 comments »
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I am just surprised that there are so many things going on in this three days weekend – Labor Day Holiday weekend for me. In just three days, I have been through like another life experience in my self-discovery journey. The experience involves drama, emotion, advice, self-reflection, happy and unhappy moments.

I told a friend that you should be happy to be single because at least you don’t have to deal with drama. He said that he would rather have something happens than nothing. It makes me realize that, when things have not really happened to us, we cannot really relate to what the other person thinks. But I give him credits that if nothing happens, life indeed can be very boring. I personally went through these three days’ drama during this holiday, although things didn’t turn out the way I expected, I still remember the good times that I had. My three days weekend did not just go away with nothing, or as my friend would say "It's something." I cannot really complain about anything because I finally realize that wallowing myself in disappointment and upset is just making myself look bad. What has been done is done. One of my favorite quotes is “Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened” – unknown.

The three days weekend is going to be over soon after I go to bed tonight, the next day I will be going back to work. Tomorrow will be a new day, and after tomorrow, there will always be new days. You and I cannot live in the past. The past is done. We learn the lesson and it is time to move on to the next journey. Let us be strong to face the reality and live our life to the fullest as planned. The clock is ticking and each tick is telling us that it’s time to move on.

Good night!
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10:36 PM | Posted by Pheng | , , with 1 comments »
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Sometimes, it helps to lay out every single things that bother your mind about your date, love or relationship, or any dillema that is causing confusion, hesitance, and indicision. Below numbered items is just an example, and it helps to go over the list that you can jot down. This allow you to see the possibilities and concerns more clear, and when it does happen, you are well prepared and can get the issue(s) addressed easier. Remember that the goal is to make yourself unconfused and feel better emotional wise - worried free so to speak. Good luck.

  1. I like him/her – Yes

  2. I don’t like him/her – because he/she doesn’t want to go out doing something and a couple things about him or her that don’t meet my standards.

  3. If I call him/her, then I don’t know if I am wanting it to continue – same as above

  4. But I want his/her company – then I only want him/her to get rid of being single, which never works out.

  5. What if he/she calls back, then I don’t know if I will get hurt and confused more – because the idea of not liking him/her already appeared in my mind.

  6. If no one is making the move to call - take it as GAME over.
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9:45 PM | Posted by Pheng | , , , with 0 comments »
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How many times in life that we bleed and still do not learn the lessons? In terms of a date, how do you define dating? And what is the point of dating?

One can misunderstand the concept of dating pretty easy. If you are dating someone, and all he or she wants to do is to come to you and cuddle, make out… and these lead to sex if you don’t have self-control, would you call that a date? I don’t think so. The point of dating is to get to know each other better before a committed relationship. How are you supposed to know a person or vice versa by the way he or she kisses and cuddles with you? It is when you are going out to do something together that your date would bode well what he or she likes, and what he or she does not like.

Another point to think about is that, giving in just to keep the date alive will not help. That is because you already go against self. Whatever you are looking for turns out to be whatever you are not looking for. Then, guilty is charged on you. Sometimes, you are even afraid to trust your intuitions, for the fact that you still believe there are still chances and something between two of you. And that’s okay because the least you can do is to re-consider what has been done, and talk to your date about it. He or she can take it or leave it, and definitely so can you. Most of the time, going against self is what hurts the most.

However, you will still survive. Don’t beat yourself up just yet. It is an experience in life, a path that you have to go through. Think of it this way, if it never happened, how would you be able to get to know yourself better? And what you are really after and looking for in a date? You are still in control of the situation even though it is already too late when you decided to give in. You realize that trying to un-fry egg that is already cooked is not going to happen. You can either eat it or throw it away and cook a new one. The decision is still up to you to make. But by positively thinking, you should realize that mistakes are not bad, but if you don’t learn from them, that’s what is bad. Put down those lessons learned, for example:

- Respect yourself by not giving in so quick before you don’t even know the person.
- Evaluate the things that you tolerate towards your date whether or not they are worth it.
- The date can always show you of what you should expect for the next date to be.
- Dating is not staying home.
- Trust your intuitions and go with the flows by not trying to think overhead, but rather enjoy the date and be in control of the dating situation.
- Be yourself and say what you want to say.
- Love yourself as always …………..

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8:16 AM | Posted by Pheng | with 2 comments »
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