My family often expects me to earn a lot of money. Every time, they heard from a Cambodian person that went to visit Cambodia from the United States about how much he/she earns, that news will be passed to me. Then, they start to think that I can do the same. I agree the fact that I am just a human as those people who make a lot of money, but it does NOT mean I can be the same as them when it comes to doing business or making money.

Sometimes, the expectation of the family is too high that I feel very overwhelmed. The thing is that my ambition is completely different than theirs. The reason in the first place that I came to the State was because I desired for independency. I wanted to be able to stand on my own feet, to speak English, to get a part-time job, and to see the America. Part of these wants, they do not include being rich. All I want is a simple life – a life that I can be just myself, a life that I can follow my dreams with family’s support, and a life that does not have many restrictions. But I feel trapped and lost sometime as I proceed on my life’s path. First is immigration issue, second is my family’s expectation, and finally my own fear.

Regardless these issues arise, I still realize that, life is not a straight line. I will survive one way or another. I am not ready yet to give up all the hopes and changes that I can impact on myself, as well as on my family’s expectation in the future. I know that my family expects the best out of me, and I am sure they are proud of me as well, but sometimes, I am just not good enough to satisfy all their expectation. I love my family very much that their thoughts that I cannot help with makes me disappointed on myself.

Life is unfair already, but when we try to compare what we have with others, it just makes life more miserable and unrealistic. 

P.S: Photo taken when I left Cambodia for the USA.

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9:43 AM | Posted by Pheng | , , with 2 comments »

2 comments

  1. Anonymous // March 3, 2009 at 9:55 PM  

    Hi Pheng,

    How are you? Hope all is going well! Thanks for sharing the photo and your thoughts. I liked what you had to say. Take care and hope you don't worry too much about what others expectations are. Life is too short for that :)

    LAN

  2. Pheng // March 3, 2009 at 10:35 PM  

    Hello Lan,

    Thank you very much for your nice comment and encouragement. I agree that life is really short for that :) and I will do my best to live it.