Last Saturday, I went to the Bruneau Dunes State Park here in Idaho with a group of friends. I was riding in a car with a couple and a friend. Well, instead of me sharing the story, let me just briefly say that the husband was practically giving his wife lessons and kind of have no respects to the wife in front of me and that friend. They argued, and the husband just seemed to do or say anything just to win her, which basically is his personality anyway. During his wife’s driving time, he’s behaving like a back-seat driver. If she made a mistake or did a jerky turn, he would act like a jerk instead of understanding how bad the weather was and how dark the sky was, which again is his personality.

One thing that I found funny from this is that, he is a Christian – very Christian. Is this action is what the Christians refer to the wife has to be submissive to the husband? But seriously, there are so many ways to express that in a nice and better way than that, don’t you think?

 There is also a couple that I know of, and that couple is completely different. The husband is submissive to the wife. I am not going to bore you with the story, but it is the same thing as the above story.

You know, sometime I don’t know what to believe anymore. Is love really that blind? Or is it just me that is being sensitive? I mean if I am dating someone like that, I would not make it that far to be in a relationship, and not even get married. To me, it’s all about respect and nothing about who is being submissive to whom. Sometimes, I just don’t seem to understand how that works, but I guess they made it to the marriage, and probably have their ways of thinking and how to work things out. All I can say is that, Amen!

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I have known that when you are interested in someone, that is a good thing, especially when it is a mutual thing. However, when either one of you or both of you feel uncomfortable or afraid of what other people think, then it is not going to be a long-term relationship. Being in a relationship, or even during the dating stage, it’s not just about you two, but it also involves friends and family. You have to try to go with the flow to see if he or she is the one. That is being said if you are a relationship material and not just someone that just dates someone just to have someone.

If you two do not “really” care about what other people think or say, and enjoy each other’s company while being seen in public, then that’s a great thing. On the other hand, whatever type of relationship that you are in that makes you only feel happy when your door is closed, then it’s not going to go anywhere further than that.

There’s really no right and wrong arguments to this matter, but it’s more like how we approach this matter. Relationship is already a hard work, but you should at least get the first thing done right, and that is being comfortable around him or her and vice versa not just in private, but also in public and among friends. You have to be proud of your date and not ashamed of him/her.  Basically, what I am trying to say is that you two behave and treat each other the same way whether it is in private or in public. 

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So last weekend, I went out dancing. One time on the dance floor, I pulled my Samsung Instinct cell phone from my pocket, turned it on, and then put it back to my pocket by forgetting locking the screen. So it automatically called people on my speed dial list, as well as, the most recent caller that is displayed in the History list, including my own voicemail.

I did not notice that until the next morning. Some told me they answered the call, but heard only dancing music, haha… and some said that they listened to the voice mail, and it simply played the dancing music. What funny was that there was a lady that was supposed to come to my house and bought my MP3 player, she called me that night around 8pm (most recent caller). But my phone automatically called her around 1:38am lol…… and turned out she called me back at about 1:40am. I think she was mad at me that’s why she didn’t come to buy the MP3 player L.

That’s the beauty of the touch screen when you forget to lock the screen, especially that’s what you get when you do dirty dancing *winking* - too much touching, haha…

Have a great weekend!

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There are times that when we least expect some particular things to happen, they just happen anyway. Then they start to mess around your life again, and you just realize that you are back to the starting point.

However, how we look at those things is really up to us. That’s being said, whether or not we are positive or negative toward them. If we are positive enough, we will look at them as some sorts of tests that just come back once in a while to test our ability. No matter what those things are, remember that they come and go, and at some point in life, we have to be prepared and when they do happen again, we know how to deal with them. Never ever give up and especially give up on yourself.  

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One day, I signed in to my MSN messenger. One of my friends put Kris Allen from American Idol’s picture as displayed image. I asked my friend to take it off, haha….. I am not bossy, but let me explain to you something about what I believe.

Idols to me are nothing because I don’t have one, and if I do, it would be real people that I know. I don’t go around and brag about who is hot or good looking. I definitely do not put those stars on my MSN as my displayed photo. I know some of you may say that, but that’s what you don’t like. I agree. We all like different kinds of things, and there’s nothing wrong with that. But the gist of it is that, I would rather look around the people that I know and make my compliments toward them verses to those that I am not going to know at all.

It’s your MSN messenger. You do what you like, but I like to hide your display photo if I see you put on some idols rather than yourself J. It is very simple that I would rather see you in the photo, for I am chatting with you not with those I never seen face people. And you know what, you look much better and more friendly then they do to me. 

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Last weekend, I went to the club alone again, and as usual, I danced. The next morning, I have been thinking about what happened. I tried to think whether or not I had a good time. This prompted me to think that some people do expect too much out of life and even from the cutest guy or girl that they got the chance to talk to. They gave out the number and expect that he/she would call the next morning or afternoon. But if there are no calls, they tend to become mad at life again, and even worse than that, they lose interests in themselves. I just want to say that it is sad if this happened to you, but is it worth it to be that way?

The future is unknown. What has happened was what more important. You had a good time and that’s what it’s all about. I mean, come on, you got asked by someone for your number. It’s flattering! Leave it at that moment and think positive about yourself. There will be more of these coming in life, but the foundation of life is very simple – you did have a great time!

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One of my problems at work is my self-confidence. I often feel that I can’t make up my mind or trust my own judgment.

I think that being cautious is great, but without being able to believe in myself and what I do is just over-killing. I could be underestimating my ability and scared to go with my own instincts.

So, what do you believe in? How is your self-confidence? Would you rather making mistakes and learn from them or would you rather depend on others to make judgment or decision for you? It’s all in our hands and it’s up to us to make up our mind.

For the most part in life, I have learned that being trusted by someone, especially your manager at work, is a great thing to develop your skills. It is because of his/her trust, it makes you feel that you are capable of making a wise decision, and it makes you feel good as an employee to work on the project(s). But no matter what, self-confidence has to start from you first. Who’s with me? J

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Introducing PhotoFunia website that I came across a while ago. It is another time for creativity.

Happy Friday and have fun with it on your day-offs ;) 

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My company last week laid one full time position (my teammate) and one part time intern off due to the financial difficulty in the company. That has worried me still.

I feel that the time is so slow. I want this year to go very quick. Last year, I felt that it went by pretty fast. Then I start to realize that, when we don’t live our lives to the fullest that we want and instead, we are worrying about the future and get ourselves depressed, living a day is like living a year. That’s when no wonder why the time goes so slow.

When we live our lives on a daily basis, and have fun with it, we will forget about what will happen, and instead, we focus on now for the future, and time flies in a glance. Therefore, don’t let the fear get in your way. Keep on living your life. I myself try to live my life day by day and stay busy at work, it’s the only way that can make me forget about the time. 

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In case you have not noticed, I cut my hair again!

I am not a very creative person, but I like my hair to be short. Every time, I cut my own hair, I have no clue what I am going to mess up. But practice makes perfect! Although I am still not perfect to cut my hair perfectly, I am satisfied enough with the result. First, it saves me money from going to the barber shop, and second, I cut it the way I want myself to look like.

There is no perfect thing in our lives. We can always strive for perfectionism. But an experience has taught me that, the one that always wants to be perfect is the one that usually messes things up at the end.

Just try your best. That’s pretty much all you can do. I always try my best to cut my hair, and trust me, I have no idea what my hair looks like at the back. But I realize that if I strive for a perfect hair cut front and back, I might waste my time trying to fix my hair at the back that I hardly see it myself. Or if I ask someone to do it for me, I don’t feel like bothering.

So, just do your best. That’s all we can do. It does not matter or not if we are perfect or not in other people’s eyes, but what matters the most is that we try our best and it meets our own expectations and according to our own standards. 

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I realize how peaceful it is to after all the laundry and apartment cleaning, simply sit on my couch, and listen to music while reading random stuff. I relaxed my muscles, threw myself in the soothing music, and enjoyed my reading under the dim light in the living room. Once again, I am getting in touch my inner self. 

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Yesterday, I went to an event that I could catch up with a few folks that I used to hang out with. There was one comment about Chuck Norris. One of the annoying one asked me if I know who Chuck Norris is, and I shook my head. All the sudden, a few people surprised and questioned me “You don’t know who Chuck Norris is?” The tone seemed to be in a mocking way of my ignorance ;)

But seriously, if that’s the case, why would even bother to ask me if I know Chuck Norris or not? I think that the questions are good, but if a questioner expects to mock at the response person’s answer, why would you bother to ask in the first place? Sometimes, I am just offended by the fact that people ask you questions, and then they are surprised about how much you don’t know. Regardless it’s famous or not, it never means that everyone knows the same thing or has the same interests in the subject. I watch movies, but I don’t care much about the real cast’s names.

There were also times that some Americans ask me this and that about American actors or actresses, or even singers, and I had no clue about because I was not born here and I never have an ultimate interest in Hollywood stuff. What I know and heard of is what I know and heard of, period. Why in the world ask me the questions and judge me when my simple answer is “No, I don’t know.”

I feel that a good conversation is when you respect who you are making conversation with. It’s being said that respect your partner’s answers, no matter how much you know more or less than he/she. If you ask the question, expect an answer, not prepare to mock at the response. After all, you are not Mr. Know-It-All either. 

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Another LOL series –

One night I was chatting with a friend from Cambodia, who is now studying in Houston, TX. We were talking about movies stuff, and suddenly, out of the blue he typed:

“Do you know what does Ms. Groove do?”

I did not pay much attention because I was distracted by something else. I thought he was asking me about an actress, I typed back promptly that “I don’t know, maybe she’s a housewife.”

Get it?

Alright, it turned out he was referring to Microsoft Groove. And I thought he meant Ms. Groove, literally. That’s what you get what you change subject from movies to technology. J

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I have always wanted a place that is clean, but I am such a lazy bum to keep everything clean in my apartment. J However, I pat myself at the back and give myself credit for trying, hehe…..

I think that environment can have an impact on one’s mood pretty well. When I go into my room and see how messy it is: the bed is not tidy, clothes are everywhere on the carpet, bathroom is filthy, and dishes are piled up in the sink, my mood just changes accordingly. I hate it. I feel that the atmosphere is just not right and all the sudden, I can not do anything right. It is completely different when my room is so nice and I got all the dishes done (Thanks to my lovely dishwasher machine). When my bed is so tidy that I just want to jump on and lay down relaxingly.

I know that some of us prefer messy over than tidiness. Some has a taste of bad hygiene than good hygiene, and let’s not being judgmental here. As always, you do whatever makes you happy and satisfied. The gist of it is that you do whatever makes your mood feels right. 

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I was driving the other day and listen to the local Boise radio station 105.9. The host said that, we should focus more on positivity than negativity. There are a lot of things going on now, especially the economy, but we should be more positive to have something to look forward to.

I totally agree with the host. I start to hate watching news on the TV because every time I turned on to those news channels, all I saw or heard was about unemployment, job hunting, layoffs, cutoffs, etc. It’s just so depressing and anxiety stimulating. One of the Chinese saying that I like is that “It’s clear when the eyes don’t see.” It means that when you don’t see things that you don’t want to see, you will not feel or even think about those things that can bother your mind.

An online friend use to tell me that he is not worried about something that he cannot control. It has been on my mind since then. Last week, I was debugging an issue at work and I was too busy to even think about the slowness of my company and what’s going on now with the economy. It makes me realize that I should stay away from seeing or hearing economic crisis news type. It is the only way that can ease my mind and lessen my anxiety attack. J Let us focus more on positivity and hope the best for the economy and everyone. 

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I am obsessed with my new phone Samsung Instinct. With this phone, I have unlimited data plan including unlimited GPS, text messages and picture mails. I also have 450 minutes available that is enough for me, and my free minutes time start from 7pm to 7am. If I call anyone that is on the Sprint network as well, it will be a free of charge.

Samsung Instinct is a touch screen phone. It is what they call one of the smart phones in this century because you pretty much can do everything with it. I put grocery items on that phone when I go to grocery shopping, and nowadays I use it as my MP3 player in my car, as well as when I am at the gym working out. I can browse the news when I am on the stationary bike, or even chat on Yahoo and play games. I can also check my personal and work emails, as well as my personal and work calendars.

Compared to my old phone, this new one has made me realize that life is good when there are not so many restrictions. With my old phone, I had to worry a lot if I ever go over my minutes. I used to have only 250 minutes, and my free weeknight time would not start until 9pm. More importantly than that, I only had 300 text messages, no Internet and no picture mails. There were so many constraints and limitations.

Life is good when you live freely without restrictions. My phone is just an example for this entry, but what keeps you from living your life freely? What are the limitations that stop you from moving forward and living your life to the fullest as you can? Just like the phone, in order to live more freely, there is cost associated to it. The question is whether or not it’s worth the price. 

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I think that laughters are good for the soul. Therefore, I am creating a new category in my blog that focuses on real jokes. It's called LOL Category. That's right. In the future, if you want a small tiny laugh, a break from depression, just click on LOL under category, it will display all the entries about funny jokes. 

So here we go.....

Last night I was watching a show with Brian. I don't know what is the name of the show, but when they were displaying the people's name on the TV screen, I glanced at it and I said out loud to Brian that, "That guy's name is CUNT BLACK?" Brian laughed and said "No, it's CLINT BlACK." 

P.S: Sorry for the bad language :) 

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The idea of going out alone to the club is very intimidating. I would not know how to describe about how much nerve wrecking I was when I first experienced about going to the club by myself, and hoping that I would run into at least someone that I know.

Going out alone to the club also takes practice. As days go by, I feel that I am more comfortable doing that than I used to be. Some people prefer to go there and socialize, but for me, I prefer to go there and dance hehe….. Talking of dance, some prefer to dance with at least someone, but for me, it is either way. It does not matter to me much. The fact that now I am not as worried as I used to be regarding going to the bar alone has made me realize how much I am comfortable with myself. Sometimes friendship can mean a lot, but it does not mean that you and your friend’s interests are the same. It makes me realize that I am no longer dependent on needing a company to go out with me. This is part of me that I always want to be – independent.

In fact, I do not mind going out alone or with friend(s). I guess I can go either way now, hehe… which is good. By going out with friend(s) though, I care too much about them. I never cease to lay my eyes on them, in a friendship way of course, hehe… because I don’t like to ditch him/her/them at the club while I am on the dance floor.

I am very much self-conscious myself, but I think that going out alone will be a good tool for me to try to lessen my self-consciousness and sensitivity. I know that going to the bar by yourself seems weird, but there’s really nothing wrong with that. It is all about what you like. Why limiting yourself to stay at home when you cannot find a friend to go out with? Why forcing yourself to watch movie/show, or do something rather than go out and enjoy what you actually want to do that particular night? Everyone’s interest is different, but what is your interest, you should be very much aware of it.

To me, I don’t find people who go out alone to the club boring or weird, but I find them very intriguing, hehe… If I am brave enough, I would go up and make conversation, but I am not. Haha… When we are surrounded by friends at the club, it usually discourages strangers to approach us. I think that to an extent, some people will also be curious about your “singlehood” at the club as well.

Therefore, don’t be afraid going out to the club by yourself. Life is so much fun when you realize that you are independent from other people that you think can make you happy. The ultimate thing about this is your own happiness. If you can make yourself happy, then everyone can make you happy. One of my favorite quotes is “Smile and the world smiles with you.  Cry and you cry alone.” 

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My family often expects me to earn a lot of money. Every time, they heard from a Cambodian person that went to visit Cambodia from the United States about how much he/she earns, that news will be passed to me. Then, they start to think that I can do the same. I agree the fact that I am just a human as those people who make a lot of money, but it does NOT mean I can be the same as them when it comes to doing business or making money.

Sometimes, the expectation of the family is too high that I feel very overwhelmed. The thing is that my ambition is completely different than theirs. The reason in the first place that I came to the State was because I desired for independency. I wanted to be able to stand on my own feet, to speak English, to get a part-time job, and to see the America. Part of these wants, they do not include being rich. All I want is a simple life – a life that I can be just myself, a life that I can follow my dreams with family’s support, and a life that does not have many restrictions. But I feel trapped and lost sometime as I proceed on my life’s path. First is immigration issue, second is my family’s expectation, and finally my own fear.

Regardless these issues arise, I still realize that, life is not a straight line. I will survive one way or another. I am not ready yet to give up all the hopes and changes that I can impact on myself, as well as on my family’s expectation in the future. I know that my family expects the best out of me, and I am sure they are proud of me as well, but sometimes, I am just not good enough to satisfy all their expectation. I love my family very much that their thoughts that I cannot help with makes me disappointed on myself.

Life is unfair already, but when we try to compare what we have with others, it just makes life more miserable and unrealistic. 

P.S: Photo taken when I left Cambodia for the USA.

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The other day, I was watching a show “Millionaire Matchmaking” with Brian. The Matchmaker once said something about how extroverted a handsome guy was, and that kept him from being social. She added that it was such a waste.

Most people tend to be hard on themselves. They forget to see the real parts of them that were created in a unique way. I used to see an article about a model that although he has the look and body, but he is still not happy about himself. Insecurity is part of some people. They have to be assured most of the time to boost up their confidence. It could make one a day when he or she gets hit on at the club or at a socializing setting environment. But this is not a way to happiness because it will be done from the outside in verses from the inside out.

I have learned that it’s all about how you perceive things and what you believe in. There is no need for reassurance about something that you already posses – your good look and your great personality. If you believe that you are cute or ugly, then you are. It’s all about self-confidence. Being too self-conscious will make that sexiness of you fade away.

In short, regardless you are extroverted or introverted, if you are happy within, there will always people who find good quality in you and appreciate your presence. There is no need to try to be a center of attention. It really is a waste if you have all the good qualities but yet keep yourself from everyone that is trying to hunt you down, hehe… Just like the old saying said “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” So go get them, Tiger! 

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Yesterday was the last day of my crazy spending habit, hehe….. Let’s just say that is my spending Mardi Gras, meaning I will quit spending too much money on unnecessary items.

I set a goal for myself that starting this month, I will be really careful about my finance. But I am very excited about this goal because I am very much curious about my persistence and determination. By all means, it does NOT mean I will become a stingy man at all. I will spend on items that I think it is necessary or it is worth to spend on. The whole point of this goal is about keeping track of my spending. I want to know which part that actually seems tiny stuff but consumes more money.

How about you? Do you think you might have crazy spending habit as well? If you like, we can start this goal together ;). Ciaos!

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