I can’t believe that Thanksgiving holiday is already gone. I went shopping on the Black Friday, and it was really busy at the mall, as well as the traffic considering it is Boise. But December is here pretty soon, and it just reminds me of one goal that I had for myself before 2009 is here. The goal is about saving money before 2009. Hehe… you know where I am going to now. Yes, I have spent too much money lately, haha… first, it was my new apartment’s decoration, and now it is about upgrading myself, hehe… I have never done anything good for myself this much before. To that, the one thing that I want to be thankful for is first my degree that allows me to get a job, and then obviously it’s my job that provides me the funds to be able to afford these good things that I can treat myself well.

Although there’s one more month left, and I don’t think I am going to meet that goal because Christmas is coming here and I am going to be my own Santa, haha… that means I am going to spend money again, I still don’t get disappointed about not meeting the goal. Instead, I feel that the more I spend, the more I am thankful for my decent paying job, and nothing goes wrong with one’s gratitude attitude. So look around yourself, what one thing you are thankful for? When you find it out, you will know what kind of gratitude feeling that I am talking about. It is a great way of self-appreciation and surrounding-embrace.

Hope you had a great Thanksgiving Day. In case you wonder what I bought:

• Two Hoodies on American Eagles website (Buy 1 get second one 50% off for all Tops, and additional 25% off entire order plus free shipping)
• Two pairs of Nike shoes from Famous Footwear (Buy 1 get second one 50% off)
• Two Hoodies at American Eagles store (Buy 1 get second one 50% off for all Tops, and additional 25% off entire order for Early Birds - Yes, I went there at around 10 a.m)
• Two T-shirts and one fleece pant at Old Navy (on sale)
• One T-shirt at American Eagles store (Split the cost with a friend - Buy 1 get second one 50% off for all Tops, and additional 15% off entire order on Saturday)
• Two graphic T-shirts at Anchor Blue (on sale, 5 bucks each)
• 6 pairs of Puma socks at Ross store today :)

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Sometimes, I like to complain about my physique. I realize that it’s never good enough for me. I hit gym and try to eat healthy food, yet I feel that it’s still not ideal. Someone used to say that perfectionism is awful. It’s always a good idea to leave room for improvements. On Thanksgiving Day, I did say that I am thankful for my physique. So although words from my mouth specify that I am not satisfied with my body, I am actually already thankful for it. All the persistence, commitment, and effort that I put into gym, it’s well worth it. The gist of it is that it’s not an ideal image that I want yet, but I never cease to improve it, especially the belly part. *giggling*

In life, how many times you look in the mirror and you said to yourself, hey, I am not that bad after all? How many times have you ever thought of making love to yourself? But in front of others, you are either too negative or too humble to always think that you don’t look good enough. From a self-conscious stand point, we are exaggerating things. In brief, we are too hard on ourselves. I am sure that although we tell people that we don’t like our looks, but deep inside of us we know that we actually do and just have a hard time to be a cocky person ;) Lastly, I want to say that it’s the only look that you have and at the end of every day, you are the only one that you have, so start loving yourself from the inside out. 

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I am thankful for:

1. My job
2. My physique
3. All the stuff that I own
4. My accomplishments thus far
5. Friends who don't judge me or make me feel bad about myself
6. Boise, Idaho that has not had any natural disaster since I have lived here
7. Family back home who I know that they will be always on my side
8. Opportunities to travel so far
9. My intellectual self-consciousness that allows me to learn and grow
10. I am still alive!

Happy Thanksgiving!

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With the economy crisis going on these days, I have been a little bit down by worrying what’s going to happen to my job. I admit that I have been blogging less and less, and that’s because I don’t want to post any negativities on this blog to any readers out there. I am a type of person that prefers to hide what I am going through. Sometimes, it causes misunderstanding between me and friends, but I realize that I have to live with that. I don’t feel like going out with anyone, but spend time alone wherever I am in the mood for.

It makes me realize that life is not perfect all the time. There are always ups and downs. To live a life to the fullest seems to be easier said than done. But I am a thinker. I think a lot and sometimes I feel overwhelmed by the flow of my thoughts. I always believe that time can heal and provides answers to doubts. I will be having day-off from work from Thursday until Monday due to the Thanksgiving holiday, and I am going to consume those days to think about stuff, yeah stuff, then go from there.

The point is, we are human beings. We have good and bad moments. It is an emotional state that everyone has to go through in life. But once in awhile, if we can take a break and give our concerns some thoughts, then we would not be too nervous about running this life or feel lost out of control. Give it a try, and remember to be thankful for your functional brain that allows you to think. 

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Have you ever experienced that a friend or someone said something to you, and that comment is stuck in your mind the rest of the day, month, year, or even forever? It happened to me tonight and that’s why it prompted me to blog about it.

It’s always nice to count on someone to be honest with you. But no matter the comment was done intentionally or unintentionally, it usually does affect the listener. Before we say something, I think we should consider about the listener or the audience first like what type of a listener we are dealing with. Otherwise, being blunt will just result in hurting the other person’s feeling. I say this many times on my blog that never ever try to read other people’s mind. You are not them and you will never be them. You can think about them but you are not entitled to make any comments on what they are doing, what they like, or how they spend their time.

We all like honest people, especially friends. But for the sake of friendship, we should consider our friends’ feeling before we throw out any comments that we have, or the honesty becomes a hidden weapon unintentionally stabs our friends. Sometimes, people do not want to talk about their problems in order to get their mind off the problems, but then there you are trying to bring them up again. It seems nothing to you because it’s just a comment out of the blue non-personally, but it’s making them feel bad already. I guess we just all need to know how to communicate whenever it’s needed to by not just saying anything on your mind without being considerate the other person’s feeling. 

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How much do you like music? I think music is a healing medicine to one’s soul. It can impact one one’s mood. If you are sad, and listen to dance songs, the sadness is kind of going away, and if you listen to sad songs, you will become sadder. My favorite genre is pop and slow. Most songs that I like are Chinese. Every time, it relaxes my nerve and makes me miles away from the problems but into my dreams and fantasies. Sometimes, the reality is too painful to be faced, and it’s good to escape from it once in awhile.

Moreover, looking for songs is also a task that can keep one’s mind occupied. I like to search for new songs once in awhile, and that helps easing the stress and boredom. I also like to listen to those songs and the lyrics. The lyric sometime gives me a realization about life in general, and sometimes it’s just a good quote to look at life in general. 

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Have you ever heard of unconditional love?

Lately, I have been addicted to a show on YouTube. It’s a romantic comedy show from German. But what attracts me the most is the love that they show to me. It amazes me that how can a person love someone like that? Unconditionally, patiently, and supportively. The show sometime gets traumatic. It’s like a soap opera, but not exactly. It’s just a European type of show. But it shows me of how a relationship works – the crush, the jealousy, the falling in love, the fight, the make up, etc.

After all of this, I realize that no matter what types of people that I have been with in the past, the experiences teach me to grow more mature to not make the same mistakes, and more importantly, I have never stayed away from love and being loved. Loving heart is a good thing to have. Keep up the good work.

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Lately, it has been stressful at work. Then when I look at myself in the mirror, I don’t like the fat. Well, here is an explanation. Stress makes one gain weight. I just find out today and want to share with you. No wonder why although I have been going to gym lately, I am still not satisfied with the result.

Therefore, if you were in the same situation as me that is trapped in stress at work, or wherever in your life, try to manage it in a less stressful way and eat better. Stress is evil, I tell you. Good luck.

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The person who lives above me might have heard my keyboard piano playing because I have been playing my keyboard constantly, and especially, recently I just started to hear a guitar playing or practicing upstairs. I think I have inspired my neighbor to pick up back what he might have always wanted to learn and play.

I am no different. I have always wanted to learn piano and guitar, but most of the time I end up practicing piano more than I do with guitar. It is because I have become more familiar with piano than I have with guitar. But my musical learning journey has been on and off, but what keeps me going back to it is that once in awhile I “youtube” piano music and it is just so incredibly to see many talent people out there and that always inspire me. More importantly than that, they would not be able to inspire me to go back and practice my piano if I have never wanted to learn piano.

Therefore, observe people and things around you. Who or what inspires you today? Who or what prompts you to start doing things that you have always wanted to do? 

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I remember the time that I was back home and wanted to come to the US really bad. I also remember the time that I was so envious with one of my Chinese friends who studied on a scholarship, got an Internship at a local company, and got his working visa afterwards. In addition, I also remember the time that I wanted to have a better running car, a nicer apartment, and a faster laptop.

All in all, those dreams have become true for me. However, I never cease to dream more and bigger. Life is like a stage, you finish with one stage then you go for another one. Although I have attained those dreams, I failed to be thankful for those opportunities from time to time. I guess it is just human nature that we always “move forward.” Things that we wanted so bad in the past, we have them, then we move on to want another thing. Ideally, this actually is an acceptable behavior because we move as the time goes, and never quit dreaming is the best way to live a life. Have you ever heard of an old saying: If you dream, dream bigger? But in order to attain the dreams, they have to be realistic, specific, and attainable, and of course, it is either your luck or you hard work that is put into getting them attained.

But one thing we have to realize is that, while we are dreaming bigger, we are not forgetting the past dreams that we have achieved. Take a moment and think about how frustrated and yearning you were to get those past dreams. During that process, it involves worries, jealousy, needy, possessive, happy and unhappy, all sorts of subtle and mixed feelings. They are all part of our life, and the most important thing is to show our gratitude toward those achievements and how lucky we are. There are millions and millions of people out there that are longing for those same things that we are having, and I am positively sure that some might be optimistic about getting them, some might be in the same boat as we were emotionally, and some might be just even worse than how we were.

All I can say to my fortunate is “I am thankful for what I have accomplished thus far.”

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One thing I have learned is that, in life there will always be someone and something that will try to let you down. They can create resentment and anger, as well as distress inside you. The moment that you have those feelings, you become upset, annoyed, and even depressed. But in the mean time, I have also learned one thing in this life that when you are too sensitive and take offense too easy, the most ultimate person that you are going to hurt is yourself. Whatever that someone or something does to you, there’s nothing you can do about it. I will tell you what you can do about it later, but firstly, you are always responsible for your own actions, mistakes and learn from them.

Now, what you can do about it is very simple, learn, my friend. If a person is annoying you, try to limit your interactions with him or her next time. If a person hurts you, forgive him but at the same time don’t make the same mistake by letting him or her hurt you again. If a person’s personality is not what you expect, quit expecting because you cannot change someone, but rather next time cautiously to find someone that is more compatible. If something bothers your mind, acknowledge it and think what you can do about it by implementing your problem solving skill or past experiences. There are many things that another person does that you really should not take them too personal. The more you find it offensive, the worse you become resentful.

Get yourself out of that abyss! By all means, look at each person as individual. Everyone is trying their best to live their life and they live according to the way they see things to the best of their own knowledge or even how they were raised. Things do happen and most of the time, they happen for a reason. Take control of your emotion, and try not to take things too person when in fact they are not really that personal. Being too sensitive will get you no where. 

P.S: I apologize if the posted image causes any rudeness about the N word. 

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Nowadays I start drinking a glass of milk before bed. By just looking at the white color of the milk, and drinking it, I feel very good inside out. Firstly, it reminds me that I am healthy. Secondly, I can afford to buy milk to put in my fridge. Finally, I am able to just enjoy the taste of it knowing that it will provide me with vitamins that my body needs. Having these said, I am truly thankful for what I got to enjoy at this moment.

Small things in our life, it might appear too tiny that we do not know its value or give its credit. It’s like the air that we breathe everyday, the water that we drink everyday, etc. but we most of the time fail to be thankful for those small things, for we think that they are “always” there for us, and thus, we take them for granted.

This is just a thought for you to think and hopefully you will show more gratitude towards what you have, what you can afford, and what has been provided to you for free. 

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When I tell people that I am going to stay in and not going out, they start to tell me that “Oh, you are going to be single.” I can’t agree more than that. It’s true. If I just sit on my butt at home, I will be alone for a long long time. Sure, if I don’t go out and meet people, I will be single for a long long time. On the other hand, I have also thought that why would that even matter? If I don’t want to go out or do something, then it’s all about my choice, and let it be.

Having someone is nice, but at the same time, it’s not my ultimate goal to socialize or meet new people just to “find” that one. If I want to socialize, then it is because that’s what I want to do. If I want to just stay home and enjoy the serenity time, then it’s because that’s what I want to do as well. I am sure that I am taking advantage of being still young, and trust me, I have thought about the fact that time will never stay the same, and youth eventually will fade. However, I have learned that pushing yourself to do something that you don’t want to do, or even tired of doing them, things never work out as expected. This will just create more resentment and disappointment for the future. Too much pressure and too much expectation, when those are not even necessary in the first place.

I am not giving up, but I need to focus on more priorities in my life. Life has more to offer than just a relationship. If this makes more sense, life is a cake, but relationship is just an icing on the cake. If the cake goes bad, then what are you left with?

Are you still in debt? Is there a past relationship that you are still not over yet? Are there any goals or dreams that you have not attained? Are you satisfied with the way you look? Are you happy now? Are you still finding yourself? Do you think you are ready for a relationship? Are you still looking for a job? So on and so forth. There are sure things going on in your life that need your attention more than focusing on “not” being single. The best thing ever in your life is to live your life to the fullest as best as you can and be yourself the way you want to be. Be happy and believe that love does exist. 

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It was my "clean" day yesterday, hehe... I shaved everywhere, haha.... wait... except for my legs and my tummy (slightly hair there, but I think it's sexy and I can live with it, lol). The rest is as smooth as tofu, haha... 

It's just another Pheng's day, and do whatever he wants to do to his physical part. I am so proud of that! You should feel too when you do something that you want to do for any reasons, "because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."

Happy Monday!

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I have never had this feeling before inside of me. It’s the greatest moment ever that I enjoy very much how my Saturday went. It was all me alone, yet a true and enjoyable alone. I asked myself, now what can I do to enjoy my evening home alone. I turned on the TV watched the show that I used to watch before, and it’s always nice to catch up with shows that you were tired of before. I also made white grapes smoothie, took a nice shower, cleaned up the kitchen little bit, and then learned how to play chords on the piano. I have been trying to pick up learning piano again. As you know, leaning piano is one of my resolutions for this year 2008, and I am glad I am making progress on it.

Right inside of me, I feel that I have truly and surely understood myself better. This self-discovery journey seems to make more sense to me than before. No news is good news, and it is internal peace that makes a day delightful and hopeful. With dreams and goals, it makes life easier to focus on what is more important than what.

For young people out there, it’s just my word of advice from personal experience. You may think you are mature enough, but in fact, you are still not. Maturity does come with age, and I think instead of trying to be mature or already thinking you are mature, try to shift the focus to the self-discovery journey. Maturity is nonsense, what defines you is what you have to go with. When you realize that you are lost, in fact, it is when you are finding yourself, and eventually, you will be found. One of my favorite quotes is “Maybe getting lost is the best way to find yourself.” – Unknown. 

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Part of the Q&A today is:

What are ten things you like about your job?

1. Colleagues are appreciative when someone has done something for them
2. The upper level folks never cease to compliment the team and employees work
3. No dress code 
4. My team is just so amazing - we are very compatible
5. The company is not big
6. I feel good every time when my problem solving skills work like a charm :)
7. Ability to learn new things by not just focusing on one particular thing
8. Laid back manager and understanding CEO
9. The company sponsored my workingn visa
10. Decent and satisfying pay

Sometimes, when we take a moment to think about what are the things that we like about our job or anything else, we will only focus on the positive areas. Having said, when we say that we hate this and that, our mind will focus on the negative areas, which is not healthy. So take a moment and think about what are the ten things you like about your job. 

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Hi, just want to let you all know that it’s my blog. I can write whatever I want, and design it with whatever look I want it to be like. It’s my car, I can drive wherever I want to go or do something with it whichever way I want to. It’s my vacation, I have all the rights to decide wherever I want to go or simply just stay home…………

Start now by taking actions on your possessions. They are reserved all the rights just for you, and you are entitled to enjoy them and not take them for granted or waste them. Look around what you have and start “owning” them (not friends or family though, lol). This is a great way to acknowledge yourself of what you can do for yourself.  

Happy Tuesday!

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Yesterday night, I drove by a local clinic in Boise called Primary Health. It reminds me of my first time going to the clinic that is outside of campus. That time I was going to Boise State University and paid the university’s health insurance. However, one day I was so sick. I had a major sore throat that I felt I was almost going to die. So since the university’s health office did not work on the weekend, I called a local hospital in Boise and described about my illness. The nurse asked me a few questions and told me to go to the Primary Health since it was the only clinic that opened on the weekend, and especially they accepted Boise State’s health insurance. So I went there. I got myself checked with the doctor, so on and so forth, then paid everything with my Boise State’s health insurance card. The following week, I found out that BSU’s health insurance had the so-called deductable policy. I was like what the heck was that. I did not have a clue about that policy whatsoever because I never got really sick and went to the clinic outside of the school. But anyway, I was just so shocked to find out that I had to pay those amounts of money to the clinic out of my own pocket.

You see, during that time I was so regretful that I went to the clinic and should have gone to the school first. But again, the school did not open and I felt like crap due to the sore throat. Yet, I still felt regretful because generally speaking, I paid for the school’s insurance, and I had to pay the money to the clinic out of my pocket and not with my insurance due to the deductable policy. However, I later looked at it as a good experience about health insurance in America. I took that as an experience to learn from and to grow culturally about the American way of health insurance’s policy. Coming all the way from Cambodia to the US, there were things that I did not quite understand about the whole American way of doing things, and even now still, but I am always open minded and look at those as a learning process to adjust myself with American culture. So in the end, spending money for something that I was not aware of was not that bad, and what I gained from it was the knowledge of health insurance in America, which prepared me for the future when I signed up for any health insurance companies or even through work’s health insurance, and not to mention, now when people say deductable word, I know what that means.

My point is, sometimes if you misspend money on something that you regret afterwards or should not have spent in the first place, do not regret or discouraged. Look at it as a life experience and a valuable mistake that you can learn from to prevent reoccurring in the future. I think if you can spend money on a valuable lesson, it would worth better than spending money with willing. 

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The gas price is dropping these days, which is good but I still need gas for my car, and the November month is here, which means rent fee is due as well for me. In spending I see the enjoyment of my capability to work. Compared to other people that do not have, I am well blessed. I told a friend tonight not to hate his bills, but rather bless them. I think that when we pay bills, we should send out the checks in the envelop with a love stamp to show our appreciations about the services that the providers provide and we know that we need/want those services. More importantly than that, we are luckier than half of the rest of the world already.

I feel bad for people out there that cannot afford paying their bills, but for those who can afford and still complain about paying their bills, I feel sorry for them because money has already blinded them from the reality, and that's sad! 

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Yesterday, I watched Senator Obama's campaign a little bit, and he said like this: "You don't need to boo, you just need to vote."

Yup, make some noise, Americans! It's time for a change. Go out there and vote when you have the right to do so. Go, Obama! haha... too bad, I cannot vote ;) So I guess, I can only "boo" at McCain. However, you vote for whoever you think you like the most. This simply is just my personal preference. 

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