Why Still Single?

Some people like to think that the whole reason why they are still single because there’s something wrong with them. An HIV positive guy thinks that because of his status, that’s why he’s still single. A fat girl thinks that because she’s fat, and that’s why she is single. One of those people out there thinks that because the city is too small and less diverse, that’s why he/she is single. This can go on and on.

Granted, it’s all about individualism. But if we put all of these together, we will see that each individual is being hard on themselves. The HIV negative guy, the good looking girl, the one that lives in a big city, has a great job, has a great socializing skills, yet wonders the same thing why he or she is still single. I think that subconsciously, those people like to create a reason as an excuse to make themselves feel better about the whole “being single” thing. They need a proof or a cause to explain to themselves about why they are single.

Some people move from one place to another. Some hit the gym so hard just to get in shape hoping that he or she will be no longer single. However, I have seen the case that when those people reach their goals, they are still single and unhappy. Then, they start to create another so called “reason” for why they are still single. The pattern here is pretty obvious that they are being hard on themselves. They do not see what they have, and do not look at where they are now. All they focus on is the “reasons” that make them single, and those reasons always tend to be the bad ones about themselves. The self-image here therefore is destructed.

Some may argue that all of those reasons can lead a person to improve on himself or herself, which I also like about self-improvement. But the point is all about being happy within self. No matter how much you are going to improve yourself, if you are not happy and all you can think of is improving yourself just to impress somebody, you are setting a high expectation that is doomed to fail, and as a result, you get disappointed.

I encourage you to keep improving yourself, but for the sake of your own happiness. That’s being said, you want to do that to feel better about yourself not because it is the reason why you are single and therefore you want to change yourself. You need to be happy and that’s what makes the self-improvement process worth your time and more enjoyable when you start seeing the result. You are single that’s because you are single, period.

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